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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / Moving on from a traumatic past

Topic: Moving on from a traumatic past

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Mgold23
    Mgold23 avatar
    1 posts
    7 November 2021

    Hi Everyone!

    Just want to start off by saying thank you for reading this if you are. I know this is a safe space for me to vent and put all my emotions out in the open so thank you.

    I was adopted at the age of 2 weeks old by my aunt who was unable to have a child, she was currently married at the time she adopted me. At a very young age of 4 years old, i was abused by a family friend whom I never disclosed to the family at that time. At such a young age, I was told to keep my mouth shut and not say anything as the old asian culture saying was "Children should be seen but not heard". My aunt's husband at the time was very abusive and I have seen a lot of things that a young child should never see. Luckily, she was able to escape him by leaving the country altogether and the way we left the country was very rushed and secretive.

    We moved to Australia as she married an Australian and we moved our simple life to a city where we had to start all over again - a new start they say! But sadly at the age of 13 - 19 years old, I was sexually abused every weekend by this stepfather. My aunt at the time worked a lot so she was not around to protect me but even then, she knew the abuse was happening as I would always be angry and sad all the time. She never questioned me or asked if i was okay when the abuse was happening. She too was being emotionally and financially abused by this man who had controlled every aspect of our lives. I was unable to stay connected with friends or passed high school as the abuse became more horrific and violent.

    I'm now 27 years old and started a new job at a law firm 5 months ago, but I'm hitting another low depression state where I'm unable to find the motivation to get up every day at work. I'm worried and stressed that I will be potentially losing my job.

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6156 posts
    8 November 2021 in reply to Mgold23
    Hi Mgold23,

    Thank you for sharing such a brave and open post here. We can imagine how incredibly hard that would be to deal with, but we’re glad you were able to open up to this community. 

    We're really sorry to hear you're feeling really low, and worrying about how this will affect you and your new job. We hope you know you can speak to our counsellors about this, and they can also help you to figure out some more support to get you through this period. You can reach us on 1300 22 4636, or via our webchat or email here (11am-12am AEDT). It can make a real difference having someone to talk to. 

    Please remember you can talk to Blue Knot about this on 1300 657 380, every day between 9-5 (AEDT). Their counsellors are experienced in working with people who have experienced complex trauma. They also have some resources on their website which could be useful to visit, particularly the pages on Survivors Self Care

    Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story. It might take some time for our kind community to spot your post, but we’re sure they will soon be here to offer their support and understanding.  

    Kind regards,

    Sophie M
  3. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    mmMekitty avatar
    1781 posts
    8 November 2021 in reply to Sophie_M

    Hello Mgold23, & welcome to the forum.

    As Sophie_M has given you some good advice to help you, I would only add, for now, that I'm sorry you didn't have the support you needed throughout your childhood. So much has happened in your life. Fearfully keeping it all to yourself, you've suffered a lot, With no-one to turn to.

    This is a safe place. You are more than welcome to talk here. We'll be listening.

    mmMekitty

  4. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1549 posts
    8 November 2021 in reply to Mgold23

    Hi Mgold23,

    Wellcome to our forums!

    Im so sorry that you went through this it must have been so difficult.

    You are so brave for telling us your story please know we are a very caring supportive community.

    Have you been able to talk to a health professional about the way you are feeling?

    I understand it’s very difficult but I believe with the correct help you can begin to heal….

  5. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    3116 posts
    8 November 2021 in reply to Mgold23

    Hi Mgold23,

    Welcome welcome. Thanks for joining us and I'm so glad that you know that it's a safe space here. That's what we want for everybody.

    It sounds like you have gone through a lot of pain and I'm sorry that it happened to you. To think that you were having a new start moving here only for things to continue is devastating. You've also had to keep so many secrets over the years which must be really hard as well. Are there people that you've been able to share this with now that it's over?

    I'm just thinking that if you still feel the need to keep all the secrets, maybe that's the reason it's become so hard to be motivated, would that resonate with you maybe?

    Hope this helps; you're so welcome here and supported by the community.

    rt

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