Hello I am a 31 year old male who has recently found out that I suffer from ptsd, my father was an violent abusive alcoholic and at age 5 my mother threw him out,around this time I was out in the streets fighting other boys as I was angry about my fathers behaviour and I started school at this time my mother had to pull me out as I was getting bullied by older boys and getting into fights so my mother moved us to live with my grandmother I was enrolled back in school at age 6 I was bullied at this school and assaulted daily and verbal abuse and intimidation, I stopped reporting the abuse as teachers did not care and started fighting back this when on till grade 5 my mother put me in a different school which was not as bad but I still got bullied not physically just verbal abuse I then went on to highschool and only lasted 6 months as my life was a living hell my mother tried to homeschool me for the next six months but we ended up homeless and living in our car this was for some time just before my 14th B-Day I was taken by docs and placed in a home, the people who looked after me put me in school I was their for 4 months my mother got me back but we ended up homeless two more times on the last time we were pulled over by police and my mother,myself and my three sisters were assaulted by these police docs were called and they helped us get into housing,the area we lived in was a high crime area, our pets were killed my mother was assaulted by a drunk man our brakes were cut and the cars tampered with in other ways to cause an accident, try to set fire to the house, assault me, smashed windows and broke in, we became desperate to get out so we payed off a block of land but found out that the man sold us land we can't build on, we spent ten years living with no electricity and little water my family fell apart and we all have mental health problems , I have been unemployed my whole adult life as I can't be around people and I trust no one I have never been in a relationship and I don't function properly anymore, One of my sisters tired to kill herself and the other one has serious mental health problems that she rarely leaves the unit she lives in, sorry for the way this was written I am using my phone.

Hey Hobbit339,

Welcome to the forums, we're so grateful that you decided to reach out to our community tonight. We know it can be really tough to reach out for the first time, and you have shown so much strength in sharing your story here with us. We're so sorry to hear how difficult your journey has been, and the abuse that you have been through from such a young age. Please know that you are strong, and you are valuable, and no one should ever be made to feel unsafe. These forums are a safe space, free of judgement to talk about your thoughts and feelings, and our wonderful community is here to provide you with as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

Can we ask if you are currently receiving mental health support, or have you in the past? Please know that support is always available to you, and our Beyond Blue Support Service is here for you, 24/7, on 1300 22 4636 or you can get in touch through webchat (3pm-12am AEST) at: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support, and also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something that you might be interested in. You might also like to reach out to our kind friends at the Blue Knot Foundation who offer support to those who have experienced childhood trauma: https://www.blueknot.org.au/

We would also strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with the lovely counsellors at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), who are there anytime, day or night, to help support you.

We hope that you find some comfort here in the words of wisdom and kindness that our community can offer, and please feel free to keep updating your thread on how you're going, whenever you feel ready.

Hi Hobbit339,

Thank you for your heartfelt account of what I can only describe as a nightmare. You and your whole family have endured such pain and suffered enormously with misfortune.

I can only say that you have remarkable inner strength to have survived the last 26 years - you acquired that the hard way and this is your foundation for a strong future. But first, there is the issue with trusting people...

Employment, relationships, even joining a social/sports club may be overwhelming and preventing you from overcoming your past. Could you start small and work up?

Attending a walking group or social sporting activity is a great way to ease into the 'system' as you are merely joining in, not specifically socialising, or even necessarily seeking sociable engagement. The steps are something like: public relations, social interaction, friendship, mutual support, career, relationship, marriage, kids...

Even just doing some volunteer work will see you interacting with staff and general public - you'll get the hang of it in no time, and you have much to offer with your experience of life.

Importantly, you are not your past. You have maturity and life skills to carry you through your next hurdle.

And you have already started your journey by reaching out on the forums - feel free to keep me posted or just have a chat whenever you choose.

Regards,

t.