4 years ago I was physically assaulted by my boyfriend of the time in August. We were together for almost six years, I was 19.

Now, at 23, living a wonderful life and for the most part happy (Although still navigating my anxiety) I find myself flooded with memories of him, of the night it happened and memories that never come to surface, until around this time of year, the second it hits the first of August.

I am so confused how still four years on, the name of the month can be such a trigger for me, I feel ashamed I am feeling this way, it has been so long now, and yet there he is in my dreams again still haunting me, and unlike my general anxiety, I have no idea what to do with these emotions.

Being this sad makes me feel as though he still has ownership of me.

Does this happen to other people? A day? Place? Month? That is an instantaneous trigger, and what do people do?

Thank you x

Hello Lil_b,

Welcome to the forums....

I’m really sorry that happened to you...

I can resonate with you having bad memories in the month of your physical assault..even though it’s been 4 years..I have 2 months that put me down...March over 50 years ago and August 7 years ago......The months themselves triggers us...

I am managing them a lot better now..A few years ago it all came crashing down around me..I went to my Dr. and spoke to her...she asked if I had any counselling regarding my traumas..No I didn’t..She said that’s why it still haunts me...A mental health care Plan was set up for me..and since I’ve talked with a psychologist..I have been managing these months much better...I don’t think it matters how long ago it happened, if we haven’t talked about it it sill haunts us...Is talking to your GP..something that you may consider...

Please don’t feel ashamed of how your managing it...You were physically hurt..by someone you were close to..and that also gives us emotional pain....

The best way I found for myself to manage the thoughts are to direct them onto something that I like to do...Music, colouring, online games, sleep stories, meditation or mindfulness....Just something that keeps my busy and on what I’m doing....

August has just started and it will end soon..Please try hard to look after you and be very gentle on you..What happened to you wasn’t you’re fault..you’re a beautiful person who was hurt ...

Talk here when ever your feeling up to, we will try to support you through this..talking here helps as it’s another distraction..and writing your feeling out here... caring people will come in from time to time to help you through this month...and when ever your needing help....Its up to you dear Lil, but I really hope that you will consider speaking to your GP....You’re very much worth all the help you can get..

Kind thoughts with care dear Lil.

Grandy..

Hi. There was a time (actually a couple) each year I would feel low, and by that I mean having a hollow feeling, sad, heavy heart etc. Two and a bit years ago, around this time, I received an email and hit me, and started to see a psychologist. Why it happened at that time of year I cannot say. Instead I have worked out other things that probably had an influence. The only part of your post this might address is whether there was something that occurred at a time of year.

You mentioned memories that have not come to the surface. Sometimes we may have a delayed response to an event. Can I ask whether you have spoken to anyone about the events that occurred? To find a way to process these feelings.

You could write a journal to put your thoughts. Or you could write a letter to your younger self. Or talking to other people. Or getting professional help. Unfortunately, your story is not uncommon. I cannot imagine what you went through those years ago and you did not deserve whatever your "boyfriend" did to you. You are worth so much more than that. If you want to chat some more, I would listen to you.

Tim