Hey everyone, I'm still so glad to see this thread is going. I promise myself all the time that I'll check in more often, but as we all know, LIFE HAPPENS!!!!!
This is without a doubt the proudest thing I've ever done. As I've said before, when I was first diagnosed there was nothing out there for responders, medical staff, police, fire,etc.
So this was born!!!!
I'm definitely getting there thats for sure!!! Sometimes 3 years feels like a whole lifetime because I'm quite a different person now.
This is something that all the psychs forget to tell us that I feel is rather important too! It's not a bad different, I feel stronger in so many ways. But it can be really hard on our families.They've spent potentially years (hopefully by our sides) seeing us at our darkest and as we get 'better', we're not the same as we used to be. For example I stand up for myself now to EVERYONE! I've cut relationships with friends and family for many reasons, but mainly because I now have the courage to put myself and my family first.
This is where my husband still struggles, the personality changes. They're small, but they're there. He's not used to that from me. My son loves it, he's 21 and says I've finally relaxed! So PTSD changes the dynamics of the family, both while at rock bottom and when things are better.
I'm not a fool though, I know that I still have things to work through. I don't have flashbacks or nightmares anymore and what used to be triggers haven't been so in close to 2 years now.
My issues are the secondary depression that comes with a staggering number of PTSD sufferers (something like 90%?) I think.
I spent 6 months last year where I went into complete hibernation, barely left the house. But these things have passed for now.
What I am now aware of and I feel it's VERY important that we all are, is family history. I have a personal and family history of depression. Right there that makes it tougher to accept help. It's called stubbornness!!!!!!
Right at this moment (and that's the easiest way to live at the moment) I'm doing good!
I have a job interview today for my old job, but only part time!! Key point.
More importantly for me is that I've decides with everything that's happened I think my family and I deserve some happiness.
I start Uni this week! I'm finally taking the plunge to do the nursing degree I've wanted to do for 15 years.
Anyway, just some random thoughts, I'm trying not to think of the interview in a couple of hours!!!