Re: cheating. I have my OWN confirmed theories about why but they're works in progress lol.. & would offend so many ppl bec they're about the cheater's childhood.
I was forearmed with knowledge about the 8 things cheaters DO before I joined Chump Nation & read up on Chumplady. She always refers to them, she's BRILLIANT.
Chump Nation was like my spiritual home, I ALWAYS felt understood there & always saw my reactions played out (not to mention demon etc).
Stephen Covey says in his AWESOME book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" & other online clips.... basically there are 2 types of people:
1. Personality based (or completely UNbased since they have no or little foundation), &
2. Character based. Not as in Disney lol but in character traits like empathy, fidelity, trustworthiness, honesty, truthfulness etc etc etc!
Covey does a better job lol.
1s need SO MUCH attention all the time. It's like an empty void they can't fill & seek all sorts of everything in attempts to fill it. They can't, hence the mousewheel & wash / rinse / repeat of their lives.
Unrepentant cheaters (lol I laugh at anything remotely religious now with you!!), let's say unremorseful cheaters have zero character IMHO.
They don't have the capacity to feel guilt, never remorse, nor do they EVER accept responsibility for their actions or themselves IME either lol.
Blue it wasn't that YOU weren't special.... it's that NO ONE ELSE ON EARTH is "special" to them except for themselves. NOT even the affair partner. No one.
Clearly you're AMAZING so if anyone's blind to that then too bad too sad really.
This is ALL ABOUT THEM.
Never about you.
This can buoy you if you see it that way!
You most definitely dodged a bullet NOT marrying that one.
You'll see cheaters blame shifting their actions on to their spouse.
LOL! omg how pathetic & juvenile (we might be mammals but I use my frontal lobe lol!).
You'd LOVE to hear what I SAID to demon mil when she did that to me... I gave it ALL back.
Then there's smoke screening, rug sweeping, future faking the list goes on with ALL these things WE would never do.
Because we have CHARACTER. We are 2s.
2s like us have standards, codes of Ethics, morals etc that play out in our lives BECAUSE we have character. Being faithful is one of them.
As far as I'm concerned the 1s can go eat themselves.
A sturdy 2 is what we seek in a partner IF we are a 2 also.
Blue, the actions of that ex was nothing to do with you.