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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / Self soothing

Topic: Self soothing

11 posts, 0 answered
  1. Mum Chris
    Mum Chris  avatar
    191 posts
    5 November 2021

    Hi

    just wondering what do you do to calm yourself. I have a multitude of ways I can feel not calm. The hardest is when I feel uncomfortable and a little shaky can’t get motivated and if I do the yuck feeling follows me.
    messaged my better half and he said it’s the overcast windless day. He’s a sweetie 🤓 it’s maybe a bit that but I’m a little sick in stomach too. Feel like I’m on a seesaw or I can feel the earth turn and I need to hang on.
    ive meditated and listened to relaxation track but it’s just making me sleepy.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    276 posts
    5 November 2021 in reply to Mum Chris
    Is this feeling like sadness, or anxiety/panic?
  3. Mk2692
    Community Champion
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    Mk2692 avatar
    107 posts
    5 November 2021 in reply to Mum Chris

    Hi Mum Chris,

    welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out here. It sounds like you feel anxious sometimes and may have some trouble dealing with these emotions. Have you spoken to someone about why you are feeling this way? If not I would say try to reach out to someone and talk it through like a friend or a family member. If you are a private person I would suggest to try to see maybe a psychologist through a referral from your GP. It sounds like you have great support from your husband and that you have tried a few techniques to help with your feelings. I don’t know if you tried any relaxing exercises like yoga or going for a walk in nature. This can help you be more present in the moment and maybe help relax you. Hope this helps.

  4. mmMekitty
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    mmMekitty avatar
    1714 posts
    5 November 2021 in reply to Mum Chris

    Hi Mum Chris,

    I don't think I've seen you mention breathing exercises. I mean, consciously listening & measuring your breaths, slowing them , with the aid of counting, & holding, & counting, Deep, slow breaths.. Sitting, standing, lying down, stretched out in a banana lounge, your choice. Close your eyes, if you like. This exercise is really flexible; you might, without closing your eyes, do this at stop lights while driving. Or in a waiting room, standing in a cue. Really, pretty much anywhere, anytime.

    Inhale: 'one potato, two potato, three potato'.

    Hold : 'one potato, two potato, three potato'.

    Exhale: 'one potato, two potato three potato'.

    & repeat as you like.

    It doesn't have to be potatoes either.

    That's the sort of exercise I am suposed to do. I am assured a slower. deeper breathing pattern will reduce feelings of anxiety, unease, & bring about a greater sense of calm. It may take some practise to make it a habitual way of breathing, though, I think that would be even more beneficial if I could do that.

    Slow physical movements, like dance or stretching exercises? I think that could help too. If you didn't think you would go to sleep, & if you have a tub, a warm bath? I would love to do that, but I have no bath, not for 21 years! I did enjoy & relaxed very well in a bath, when I did have one.

    I always like slow music, adagios, Bach's 6 Cello Suites, in particular.

    & also Riley Lee playing shakuhachi, which is supposed to be all about the breath in the first place.

    Hope this helps.

    mmMekitty

  5. Mum Chris
    Mum Chris  avatar
    191 posts
    5 November 2021 in reply to Here2Talk

    Hi here2talk

    ummm not sure it’s just a bit of a mess. Panic no anxiety yes a little not really sadness I’m on downward spiral with sadness but of course I’m super sad and I’m in full grief mode. I did stuff today. Went to tip twice and went bought curtains. Nice owner of house next to me came by to say hi. I’m also very lonely don’t feel I have close friends. I used to but not now.

  6. Mum Chris
    Mum Chris  avatar
    191 posts
    5 November 2021 in reply to Mk2692

    Hi Mk

    im in the process of getting help I have a counselor but my time with her will end soon. It’s probably anxiety here2talk mentioned that too. I’m super not ok not sure how far it goes but I have CPTSD. Who knew that existed not me till recently. I’m seeing someone next week but not real hopeful. It’s through work and they are often just focusing on getting you back to work. I’m just trying to get some day to day calm so I don’t scare my husband too much.

  7. Mum Chris
    Mum Chris  avatar
    191 posts
    5 November 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    Hi mmmkitty

    no haven’t tried breathing exercises a lot of my ptsd revolves around me not being able to breathe. I’d be 1 potato person 🤪. I used to count seconds as a kid as 1 1000 1 1000.
    I could try stretching too.
    thank you

  8. Ggrand
    Community Champion
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    Ggrand avatar
    9351 posts
    5 November 2021 in reply to Mum Chris

    Hello Mum Chris,

    I love lighting my scented candles...all at once, I have them on my coffee table in the lounge room....Closing all the blinds, putting some soft music on from you tube...or a sleep story then I just sit back or lay down watching the flickering flame and listening to the music or story...

    Its okay if you fall asleep, while listening and watching, I do, sometimes, but mostly only it’s only for a short time...and find I’m much calmer when I do wake up...a nanny nap is beneficial if it’s not for too long.,,

    I’m sorry your lonely, I can relate so much to loneliness, and how overwhelming it can be...we are here if you feel to talk..

    My kindest thoughts dear Mum Chris..

    Grandy..

  9. Here2Talk
    Here2Talk avatar
    276 posts
    5 November 2021 in reply to Mum Chris
    Sorry to hear you don’t have close friends. So you’re feeling a bit of sadness and not wanting to do anything, and a bit of anxiety, do you think that’s causing the sickness in the stomach, the yucky feeling?
  10. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
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    mmMekitty avatar
    1714 posts
    5 November 2021 in reply to Mum Chris

    Mum Chris, it was my Psychiatrist who reminded me of my breathing, & had explained how, when I slow my breathing down, & breathe deeper, it slows your whole body. I have trouble when I feel I can't breathe, & I know my breathing is too shallow & quick when I am anxious. So, doing the exercise, I am in control, my choice entirely. That is a very important part to keep in mind, & my body will naturally slow itself when I do, & the amount of anxiety I feel will decrease.

    You can stop any time you like, take a break, get a drink of water, walk around a bit, & if you feel you can, you can go back to it.

    Doing this exercise does help me to feel I am able to breathe, really breathe, nothing impeding my breath - well, unless I've been too upset & my nose is clogged, so I'm not so sure about doing the breathing exercise right then.

    It takes some effort to just stay with it, with the feelings, & let them go, as you move onto the next breath. I often insert a shorter breath, here & there. I just find it is difficult to maintain a rhythm. I think that is a sign of how much tension there is in my body.

    Does that explain?

    My best to you,

    mmMekitty

  11. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
    3114 posts
    9 November 2021 in reply to Mum Chris

    Hi Mum Chris,

    I too am a one potato person (that made me laugh) :) I hope you are finding some helpful tips from this thread.

    For me, I bought a weighted blanket, and when I'm in a bad place (usually shaky, triggered or down), I crawl under it. I also really like playing games on my phone, which I initially thought was a bad distraction but I now know it's a good way to pull my attention away from everything else and stay grounded.

    Are there things that help you feel safe or centred or bring you a little joy? Maybe that's smells, sounds, things to touch, things to look at..

    Honestly if the relaxation track is making you sleepy, is it possible to have a little nap? Or maybe if you're feeling rested by it you could go for a walk after (so making sure you don't fall asleep).

    Hope this helps. It can be hard finding the right thing for you.

    rt

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