I'll start with what to do if you stay with him.
Firstly respect is wanting here. Any form of abuse is outrageous and not acceptable and has to stop- period! Immediately.
If a disagreement occurs then use the process I've outlined here in the following thread . use google
Beyondblue topic relationship strife?- the peace pipe
Seek a relationship counselor. If he refuses to go then go yourself. If he asks details of the meeting don't reveal it, instead suggest he come along with you next time.
Beyondblue topic does stubbornness have a place
Beyondblue topic is there room for stubbornness?
He should be informed that although he has mental illnesses that should not mean he has free reign on his behavior and he is responsible for such behavior. EG you are not a trampoline that he can fall on at every mood swing.
Beyondblue topic who cares for the carer?
Now, if you leave. Remember, you have a right to self preservation and stable happiness in life. With those with bipolar (like myself) the good times , the love, affection and fun times must offset the turmoil of our illness or over time such turmoil wears you down. With long term relationships the affection wains and so does the fun. The balance gets out and the fallout from the moods takes its toll. This is why he needs to change his behavior.
You have the choice of leaving or not. You cannot remain with him for the reason he might self harm or worse. You can achieve separation with care and compassion but you also need the same. This is where the mentally ill aren't ideal in their approach commonly. Yes, we rely on others to care for us but we aren't their liability, there is a difference.
I hope that helps. We are here to respond often to your questions so by all means keep in touch and post anytime.