Hi, thanks for the reply.
The support for me is about as good as it has been on beyond blue and I have tried EVERYWHERE as i wrote, the phone lines don’t work. All the support i have been offered has been bare minimum or fallen through mostly because of COVID.
I gave birth alone 6 months ago and since then have been struggling not to fall into complete despair.
My son is beautiful but I often feel totally out of my depth, i cant give him a future.
I know that seems cliche but I have no money am back living with my parents in a really cramped place with no privacy and no peace.
I have applied for a permanent IVO on my ex and am stressed it wont come through.
I don’t have time to see a professional just went through months of rape counselling and keep getting told to go around in circles only to get no help at all. I am sick of trying and sick of telling the same story over and over again.
Oh I cant drive.
All the money I save goes on my son.
We cant afford anywhere to live even with QUANTUM and special services assisting and a flawless rental history.
I feel like my son and i will never get out of here. I have no control and no mother son time with him because I’m surrounded constantly by the watchful eye and opinion of my parents.
I cant put him in Daycare because if he get’s sick, i can’t pick him up and if my parents get sick, they cant work.
Mum and Dad wont help with him because they’re disappointed in me and I often get the feeling he is outcast because of me, because i’m a 36 yo single mum in a situation while my siblings are more successful every day.
I feel he knows I’m a loser, i feel he knows he’s been outcast and he’s not even 6 months old.
I feel so isolated as a person and I cant tell anyone but i also struggle to hide it from my boy.
There is just no way out of this. I am a constant victim of the past.
If I tell anyone they will take my son.
He has threatened me multiple times.
Support services have failed us big time over and over
We have a roof over our heads, but it’s not going to work we will have to move as soon as Bub can crawl which is, a month ago.
I have been urgently asking births deaths and marriges to send my sons birth certificate and they wont reply. I have paid and paid for it, without it we cant get social housing.
I’m so tired, and not even from my Bub, of life. I have always been tired of life.
I have horrible nightmares and cant sleep properly anymore.
Its just awful. I’m just never good enough.