Dear Bella Donna~
Christmas can be hard time and bring out behavior, emotions and memories that can be very hard to cope with. not good.
I do have a different viewpoint from you on offspring. You said "I do my very best to shield them" and also "it’s not their job to pick me up". If I remember right you have one boy in late teens and a couple more as adults.
True, a young child needs a lot of parental shielding, but as they mature they do need life experience, if only so they can function successfully by themselves later on. Actually that is not the only reason, that experience gives them the wisdom to help those they love - which includes you. For adults shielding should be over, and have reduced to affection, help as needed and reliability. They need treating as adults.
Helping is a natural part of being human, and leads to feelings of worth and self esteem - as well happiness in cherishing someone.
I can understand you being reluctant to say much in the way of detail, to your family, and also to any new medical professional you have to go see. I guess with family the trick is to bring yourself to say enough for them to realize the deep effect your early life has had on you and how it manifests itself.Plus what helps best, which may actually be talking, you would be the judge..
Maybe your dad might be the exception considering his illness, you would be the best judge there too, though people with a mental illness can sometimes have too much responsibility taken away from them, for the best of intentions.
You should expect your kids support, it is their job. With the psychologists perhaps writing down a summary might help them catch up.
You have survived a truly horrible childhood and now have all the control in the world. You also sound a most caring and loving person.