It's good to hear from you.
I guess you are looking at everything that is wrong and seeing it as one huge obstacle almost impossible to overcome. It's not really quite like that.
Let's take the two things you talked about just now, getting help and food.
OK, they are related, but don't have to be met head-on all at once, leave food for now.
You have to remember that the abuse that has cast a shadow over your life is not something of your doing. It's true over time human nature makes us blame ourselves, taking on the horrible behavior of others as if we had something to do with it, but it simply is not true.
All that has happened is you have reacted and coped as best you can.
If something unexpected happened and you were injured , perhaps on a slippery pavement - then you would go to casualty and be treated. Unpleasant but you would not really question going.
You have been injured by another and that too needs to be remedied. You know the first step, see a GP and set it out - possibly in writing.
Why do this?
First because you are still suffering harm, you are unhappy with life, you retreat, and as you say regard food as a defense.
It might be possible OK keep on going that way, however as you do the habits and thought processes become more ingrained. You are unhappy with life, you are unhappy with yourself.
The second reason is that it is the way to a better happier and more peaceful life, one where you can look back with pride on your courage and accomplishment. That spills over into your kids, they see a side of mum that is buried inside her but not been apparent.
There have been times when I've really not wanted to do something and if no one else was there to prompt me have done something that is hard to take back -like email a full message and then have to follow it up. I've put my self in a situation where I basically have to go on.
It does not really matter the nature of your past experiences, whatever they are they can be accepted with sympathy and understanding, and a path out.
What do you think?