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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / The day I lost my soul

Topic: The day I lost my soul

  1. Guest_7403
    Guest_7403 avatar
    409 posts
    4 January 2022 in reply to Learn to Fly

    Been seeing this woman on and off for 6 months been a few red flags but I'm not healthy and have warped views on the world so tell myself it's probably more my sensitivity etc to things

    Two days ago her daughter was very sick (20f) and asked if I could bring over a rapid test....so I did...and showed her how to do it...it came up positive immediately...so my partner, daughter/son and his partner all went and got pcr tests (they live together).

    Theyre all positive. So I told work I was there 10 mins and they said I need a negative pcr to return...which is fine I can do that.

    But my partner became abusive last night, messaging me demanding that I come over and stay with her, calling me names in messages and giving me an ultimatum that if I don't come its over.

    I responded that it's unfair of her to ask me to come into a household that's covid positive and put my health at risk....she continued to berate me....calling me names and telling me too pack her bags its over.

    I said I'm not debating you, you're being selfish and asking me to put my health at risk.

    Her daughter was so ill she was going to take her to hospital....and I don't feel its fair to put me in that position.

    These outbursts and other red flags are becoming a pattern, and I've told her that I need to walk away for my own health etc

    She apologised last night for her behaviour, said she was stressed etc but the abuse I received I won't accept...I've told her its over for now

  2. Guest_7403
    Guest_7403 avatar
    409 posts
    12 February 2022 in reply to Guest_7403

    Ran into an ex prisoner while getting some dinner...he was with his partner.

    Haven't seen him for years, he approached me and asked if my name was such and such...said yes...hello (his name)

    He shakes my hand and says thanks for being one of the good ones.

    My own family doesn't show me that respect. It's very strange

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Guest_1643
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_1643 avatar
    4854 posts
    12 February 2022

    Hello

    I read Ur original post and was moved. I lost me too. Hope u find Ur way back to a life u can live and love, u sound worth it, and a good person

    Sending care

    Sleepy

    1 person found this helpful
  4. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    2705 posts
    13 February 2022 in reply to Guest_7403

    Hi Guest_7403

    Your last post gave me the biggest chill. I always consider this feeling as 'something that rings through to the soul'.

    What an incredibly soulful experience, to be reminded of how deeply you've impacted someone's life in ways they'll forever remember. I imagine he's thought of you often when it comes to the kind of respect he needs in being able to love himself more. I imagine he's compared you against all the depressing people in his life who have tried to convince him he is worthless. I imagine he has found his value through you, to some degree.

    I believe we can forget how truly amazing we are until we are reminded in such an impacting way. These are moments to cherish, to fully feel. There is no feeling that compares to being reminded of who we truly are, as opposed to who we believe we are.

    Thank you for sharing. I hope he had an impact on you, giving you back some of what you gave to him during his most challenging times.

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