Dear b.abbey (and dear RubyBleu and dear Tom R)
I understand the most important thing for you is validation. Having people believe you.
We all believe you. Always hold on to the knowledge that you are BELIEVED.
It's understandable you have anxiety over being in Court, facing people there, the repercussions in your family and "winning".
I absolutely want you to win too.
I have next to no faith in our legal system. It's not a "Justice System" at all IME.
When you look at stats from a while back where less than 5% of perps were actually convicted of reported rapes... and you and I know hardly any rapes ARE reported... not only do we live in a very scary society but victims seldom report. No doubt they don't want to go through all the hell to have no "just" result.
My experiences with reports of child SA are worse. I work with families and many in distress, I've seen this over 40y and I am bitterly disappointed for our precious innocent children.
You are all those children too. As mine are.
I see Police Officers who work SO HARD to put a solid case together only to have nothing happen in Court. No wonder Police who work in this area suffer burn out. My heart feels for them feeling so helpless and depressed over this too.
It disgusts me.
I prefer tribal Law.
SO as I did win in other cases, when everyone was saying I couldn't possibly win... but I did.
I went in FULL throttle, SO prepared and had Women's Legal Service support and advise me EVERY step of the way. They gave me step by step advice and that's what I ordered my Legal team to do.
They didn't WANT to do what WLS told me. I made them.
I heard what was told to me, that I couldn't possibly win, I heard it, put it aside and went full on, pushing every ounce of everything I could.
If I had KNOWN to do that with all the other Court cases then I KNOW I would have had different outcomes. I will never rely on Courts, one Lawyer and Police to get the job done right.
But to take this on, YOU need as much support as you can get.
I suggest you make a list of your supports. You have here - awesome. 1800RESPECT 24/7 and you can give them your name and they take notes and keep up to give you GREAT support. SA Hotline. The Blue Knot Foundation. The Red Heart Foundation on FB.
Google is your friend.
Before Court there are other things you can do.
Muster it all. See what fits with you. Take what fits, keep others for back up.
My Prayers are with you all