No way Not_Batman

I cannot imagine you had done such a thing as your posts are absolutely wonderful

Hey Not_Batman, nice to see you around.

I'm sorry you feel that way, but I promise you, as Sleepy said, you've never done anything wrong here. I often feel that way too though. And your suggestion is a good idea.

Hello Everyone, many times people may not be recognised by name in a return reply then you shouldn't feel disrespected seeing that your message hasn't been acknowledged, there's no one who's better than another person, we all have our different experiences and each one of us has made an enormous contribution to the forums.

How you feel on one thread will be picked up on another one and someone else may miss out on being mentioned, it's happened with me on countless threads, but remember those people who only read the comments know exactly what you're talking about and sincerely appreciate all the work you're doing to help others.

Please take care.

Geoff.

Hi Not_Batman you definately haven't said anything wrong Your words and advice is really valuable on these forums.
The suggestion you have is a great one.Cost and how hard it is to do seems to the biggest challenge with changing things on these forums
Take care,
Mark.

that's a good point Geoff

To remember that others read the thread

Maybe if there is not support in one forum, still another will read that u are struggling and ask about it another place.

I think it's easy to second guess our replies to others especially since many people don't reply back.

I encourage everyone to not let that deter you or make you feel like you've said something wrong.

The simple fact that you voluntarily put yourself out there to help someone in need of expose something private is more than enough. It is so good of us to do what we do sometimes with no feedback and without knowing the outcome.

I think it's amazing of us to contribute here.

Not Batman,

I agree that words here can be interpreted in not the way intended because it is hard to convey tone in text.

I suppose if the main topic branches out , a new thread can be started. I know that is not what you are saying.

I like the idea of a tree.

Hello all.

Thank you for you replies.

just re-reading, and it looks like Summer Rose shared the same fear that we have said something.

The curse of the overthinker!!! Obsessive thoughts, i cast thee out!!

Not_Batman

Hi everyone. Here's a suggestion from me. I know that others may not be into the idea since some of the earlier comments said so, but:

Would it be possible to get another MH Professional of some kind please, whatever profession (GP, Nurse like Nurse Jenn, etc). I ask this because for me personally, it helps to talk to a professional while I can't see mine, & ask certain questions, within the forum rules of course, & get a professional answer (for example about medication).

Just a thought, I know I would prefer it myself.

Hey Tayla I think that's a bit risky as they would be giving answers on medication to someone they have not met properly so it would potentially be risky to u to follow the advice...

Hi Not_Batman

It really is a curse!

Because we don't know what might trigger another person, it's really challenging sometimes to feel confident that you're saying the right thing. Sometime the "what ifs" really get to me after a post.

What if, I went too far? What if, I caused upset or worse harm? What if, I'm wrong?

Dealing with it at present by reminding myself that I give the same advice here that I would give to a member of my family or a friend. In other words, it may not be perfect advice but it comes from genuine experience and a good place. Reminding myself that others are free to reject or accept anything I might say.

Just had a thought ... emojis could help to convey tone ... has that ever been considered?

Kind thoughts to all

Good point Sleepy. I was just using medication as an example, sorry.

Hi Summer Rose, I don't think you've done anything wrong but I often feel the same so I understand how you feel there.

Yes I was thinking emojis would be good too, nice ones such as hearts, not the rude ones of course.

And also pictures, like nice quotes, or if someone wants to put up a picture of their Dog or something perhaps? That could make people smile.

Hi Summer Rose and Not_batman I was thinking of this today as I was driving

How hard it is not too feel responsible

And also I wanted to say that ur concern for others here... as you wrote Summer_Rose for the persn you fell out of touch with here - is the most inspiring thing I've seen here really

It's amazing that you really want to be there for ppl here and care about what happens to them

I think some of us never had that in our families or upbringing and I personally really am moved by it.

I also think I have lead someone to leave the forum and I feel upset about it... I wish I'd been more non-judgemental with this person.

It is hard to know how to balance words and find a way that won't harm or shock a person... no one likes to be told off.... I was triggered as I found the users words harmful and said so...then a few ppl agreed with me.... and soon after the user left...

Hi Summer Rose your absolutely right you do not know what will trigger someone and I have even found a thread title triggering for me and I might be the only one it is triggering and that's ok.Most of the advice here is given from life's experience and with compassion and never any harm intended to upset anyone .
Take care,
Mark.

It's hard to give advice to vulnerable ppl... but many ppl get so scared about this they don't give advice at all - they don't try. they run. so even trying i believe is deeply appreciated. i agree with mark the advice often comes from the heart and a general desire to help.

In hospital I met a man in his fourties who lived with his family who abused him. There is no way I could ever get him to leave... it was hard for me. He was scared. At one point he asked to move in with me... that was so sad as I could not say yes.

I would want to help ppl and see them be happy and free and yet not now how to... and not be able to spend my own money or sacrifice from my own MH recovery to help.

I think just trying with whatever resources, energy and ability you have - is appreciated and seen by the person, on some level, even if they can't take it in fully. And just being a friend and listening and not judging may help ppl feel confident to make the steps they need in their own lives.... eventually....

Hi mb20lover

Yes, I agree about the kind emojis. But I also think we need one that says, "I read your post but can't respond right now". Like a pause button of sorts. That might help people to feel they're not being ignored.

Kind thoughts to you

yes I agree, something like that would be good, like an automated thing to press you mean Summer? That's a good idea.

I think it would be a good idea to maybe see who has marked yours or other people's posts as helpful, like you could click it on and it could tell you or it would just say above?

Hi Sleepy21

Thank you for your kind words.

When my daughter fell ill with OCD and anxiety at age 13, everything changed for her and our family. Our lives were turned upside down and relationships were tested in ways I never thought possible.

It took a real family effort to help her get through a hospital stay, to find the right treatment (even her and I travelling to one of the world's best OCD clinics for treatment) and support her efforts to reclaim her life. It took unconditional and inexhaustible love.

My girl often tells us that she wouldn't be here if it weren't for the family support she received. This has weighed on my mind for years because I know so many people don't have this.

I know she was lucky. We were all lucky to survive. And that's why I'm here.

If I can share my knowlege and give some of my heart to help another human being then it was all worth while. Being a member of this community gives meaning to the worst events and years of my life.

I hope this makes sense.

Kind thoughts to you

Hi Everyone

Hey NotBatman....You have mentioned such a very important point " text cannot convey tone very well, so the interpretation of language used is down to the reader"

You are spot on.....the written word can be misconstrued for sure....This occurs very often on the forums as we sometimes have to read between the lines...a few times for sure!

my kindest

Paul

Hi Summer Rose

I very much understand you and value your sharing.
I am in deep admiration of the work you did to assist your daughter. I hope your daughter is doing better and I believe in recovery and life after pain. We all deserve a chance to heal. Thank u again for sharing. Many young ppl go through what your daughter has.... and need ppl like u to show that they are worth getting better.

if you want emojis on desktop just go to emojipedia and copy paste from there. i dont see the point discriminating between "kind" and "rude" emojis but my real point of contention here if they heed your suggestion and add on-site emojis they better not automatically convert text to emoji if i put a cynical :)))))))) and they turn it into 🙂))))))) i WILL be very upset its an instant mood-killer

would also suggest if images are added please let us add alt text as well for low vision people who use screenreaders, people with visual processing issues, people who have trouble reading facial expression/intention/non-verbal cues in image, people with limited internet that can't load images well/if the image breaks while posting, and also typed transcripts are usually easier to read than screenshots. i've been trying to get into the habit of transcribing images/videos i post online or those i see untranscribed and it makes things a lot easier for me so if we can post images id like to add/edit alt text.

Hey eight, I like your suggestions. I think they'd be very helpful and I never thought of those, so I apologise.

What I meant by nice emojis was hearts, happy things, etc. Rude emojis I meant like middle fingers or something that may not be allowed to be published here. I wasn't trying to discriminate them, the same with images.

Hello Tayla, I agree with Sleepy 21, (sorry going back a few comments) if the site did have a professional to advise us about taking AD's and what type they suggest 'it would be risky to u to follow the advice', simply because the dosage might not be correct and you may have an unusual reaction, so there's no way you can contact them straight away and liability enters the scene, that's not what BB want, to be mixed up in anything legal.

Hi Summer Rose, you have my heart, trying to understand OCD and what it may cause for your daughter, especially at her age 13, it would be difficult to know why she is displaying these needs that have to happen and her beliefs that reinforce and maintain symptoms associated with OCD.

It would be horrifying but with your unconditional and inexhaustible love, I hope that this journey has lessened.

I wish you all my best.

Take care.

Geoff.

Hi Geoff and Sleepy

Thank you for your kind words. This is off topic but wanted to let you know that life is much better now.

My daughter has learned to mostly manage her condition and she does life her way (eg part time study, makes time for exercise, no wild partying). COVID threw her for a loop but working her way through it.

Kind thoughts to you

Firstly, a heart-felt thank you to all who make the forums possible.
Sorry if the following has already been suggested. I haven’t read every post in this thread.
Is it possible to have another tab, like the ‘My Threads’ one. Somewhere you can kind of bookmark threads that you haven’t yet responded to but want to come back to?
Sometimes I can’t remember the title of a post to be able to search for it.

Best wishes
lillylane

Hi Lillylane that is a great suggstion about being able to bookmark a thread.What I sometimes do is put a quick hi on a thread when I don' have time to respond so it comes up in My Threads.

Hi Mark, thanks this is very helpful. I will keep it in mind next time.

Summer Rose,

I think a way we improve the forums is people honestly sharing their stories and lived experience as you have, so it is on topic I feel. If people find it hard to share but see others being open it helps them and some may find the courage to share theirs.

Lilylane, the bookmark is a suggestion that has been looked, and Marks suggestion is a good one,

I sometimes write down the title and the section so I can search for it later .

Happy 2021,

While these forums are moderated 24/7, even over the holidays, we don't always have the time to fully address every point that is made here in real time. There are several issues you've raised over the festive season that we would like to address.

Let's start by pointing out that our online forums themselves are simply the "place" through which we together have built this wonderful community over many years. This particular "place of assembly", or forum, was set up so community members could make practical suggestions on how we shape this, our shared space or place, to best build and serve our community. (For example, @Not_Batman made an interesting suggestion about nesting replies, which we are considering.)

Communities are made up of their members. We all have a role to play in shaping and maintaining this incredibly caring and helpful community of peers.

The community rules are here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/community-rules.

They do form part of your user agreement when you sign up so it's important you're familiar with them. We're sorry that some of you have found difficulty accessing them. We are working on ways to improve our signposting of them.

Some have asked "when should I use the report post function?". The simple answer is: whenever you see something that you think could or does break with the spirit and intent of the rules. These rules are underpinned by five core values: supportive, respectful, empowering, safe and friendly. Only moderators can see the who and the why of a reported post -- so please do not be afraid to use it whenever you're in doubt about a post. Moderators will review your report and the post you've reported and make an impartial decision based on the rules.

As others have mentioned, text on screen is an imperfect way convey meaning, especially when dealing with complex issues relating to our mental wellbeing. You can help by trying to be clear in your posts and remembering that your contribution may be understood in a way you didn't intend by others. If you see something you think breaks the rules, or might, report it for moderators to review. We always try to give users the benefit of the doubt in such instances.

Let us come together in this forum and resolve to get this thread back on track in 2021: any ideas about how we can improve the look and/or function of our shared community space?