I am not a fan of most psy hotropics except for emergency but to ea h their own. I wasted years of my life in gps office and gave medications that I didn't need with diagnoses that were jncorrect. I support informed consent ....research, ask, and trust Ur gut. Drs are judt humans, they do make mistakes. Not all gps are sensitive, or able to diagnoses ptsd, abuse or vulnerabilities. A good clinician can come in many forms. For me, the best one I met was a mh nurse in emergency triage.

I'd been dismissed by my gp.

I think it's OK to look and ask beyond one's gp for understanding of why one feels bad. Pills are one solution.

There are more.

also my suggestion:

perhaps we could have badges that would appear on our profiles, like the valued contributor etc badges?

so what i mean is there would be a thread where we can choose our "roles" as they're called, so gender (other options other than male & female), sexuality (straight, bi, lesbian, gay, prefer not to say, questioning, etc), age (i don't mean exact age, i mean for example 13-19 & so on), our diagnoseses (depression, etc, if you feel comfortable answering).

i thought this would be a good idea so we could know how to address each other, so for example, pronouns. obviously if you're not comfortable then that's fine but i just thought it could be a suggestion.

I have been thinking, I would like, if anything in a post I am wanting to post is deemed to be inappropriate, against any guidelines, or fore any reason, that the moderators permit me the opportunity to edit my own post, then they can review it again, & then, either my edited post is posted, or the moderators then edit, or not permit it to be posted, as they choose.

I would also like readers to know when my posts are edited by the moderators.

*

I might like to use some of the personal badges as Robthomaslover has suggested. On a site many years ago, there were several small icons to choose from, to indicate one's mood, daily, or as often as one liked. They had done this from their profile page.

Of-course, I would like my text-to-speech reader to be able to identify them to me.

mmMekitty

Hi Sleepy, agree with everything u wrote here. I have seen so much bias in one narrative being all okay to put forward but any opposing is not. I have struggled thru this, it was frustrating & disheartening and made me feel worse, more isolated. Not given a voice to connect with other ppl feeling similar. Or only snippets of it which didn't even give my true feelings. This has been horrible for mh in such an isolating time and this being one of the few domains to be less alone. I took a break. Still read though, but seen the tone and language of some regularly slipping thru. It is toxic for sure. It makes me feel uncomfortable and in fact angry that it is allowed to go on. And worse that it is coming from ppl who are regulars and one would hope be better than that. But Covid has seen ppl show their nature. I feel it too. I am saddened that you don't feel safe at times here Sleepy. It shouldn't be that way. Sorry, but i am not familiar with other online groups. Thanks for being brave to put yourself out there like that. You are not alone. Let's hope for improvements.

Hey Sleepy

This is my sixth anniversary on the forums and you are not alone where feeling isolated is concerned. I seem to have some 'issues' on the Covid thread for some reason when I post....I dont know why..

You come first Sleepy....all other considerations are secondary

Even though I dont agree with you about the value of GP's....I am a big fan of your posts :-)

my kindest

Paul

Hi Paul, Golden and Sleepy

I feel so validated to have read your posts. I also left the Covid thread because I didn’t feel safe, valued or welcome. For a long time I thought it was just me. Glad to know I’m not alone.

Such a shame though. Could have been a helpful place to spend time.

Kind thoughts to you all

Hi Paul,

I truly believe being prepared that there are issues in the mh system, being selective, smart and willing to seek a second opinion is all part of getting well.

I'm really sorry if it sounded judgemental against go's or psychologists, I believe rhey can help so much, but not all of them, and not all the time,

Thanks Paul for Ur comments and honesty!

Tbh I think moderators have a little more responsibility to ensure that ppl are safe.

I am sorry golden and summerrose that u had to step away at times. I really hope it doesn't distress y too much

Hi Sleepy

Thanks for your kind words. I'm absolutely fine.

As Matchy69 has said, there are a lot of competing yet legitimate needs here at the forum. It would be impossible to expect bb to have the resources to equitably balance them all--all of the time.

I come here for relief, support and to hopefully do some good in this world via meaningful connections with others. If a thread is causing me concern, I report it and then move away if I'm not happy with the outcome. This is not a criticism of the moderation team, I have never felt a concern has been ignored and I am happy with the work they do. It is just an acknowledgement that while I understand they do their best trying to juggle everyone's needs and concerns, at the end of the day, it's a virtually impossible task and I will always do what's best to protect myself.

Kind thoughts to you

I've been here nearly 9 years. I've had some moderation of my posts and it hurts a little but its a process that is mandatory.

I think the written word is displayed sometimes as insensitive. It doesnt come across warm enough. eg

I once said to a member "try to ensure your thoughts are realistic"

This was in response to her having invasive thoughts during the day and causing depression. She replied-

"I dont come here to be given a reality check".

I was dumbfounded. But it made me realise that the written word can be hurtful and taken out of context.

IMO some moderators are simply going through a process and can appear robotic in their reply. For this reason I'm patient and understanding and once I report a post I leave it to them to sort and dont involve myself any further.

TonyWK

Hi Tony

Thank you for your post. I agree with you 100 per cent.

I always give people the benefit of the doubt for the miscommunication reasons you mentioned, along with the fact that we all have different literacy and communication skills and, of course, anyone could quite possibly be feeling unwell.

I’m talking about something different—a direct insult to a personal characteristic of mine which I believe the other correspondent was aware of (I had openly talked about it). To make it worse others joined the pile on of people like me.

This happened twice. It was quickly corrected twice, but by then I no longer felt welcome or safe on the thread.

Kind thoughts to you

Summer Rose

I am so sorry you were treated with such disrespect.

when I see your name I know I will be reading an intelligent,compassionate and thoughtful post.

I am sad when I know this has happened as forums should and hopefully mostly they are.

I hope you continue to contribute as your post are valued and appreciated.

Hi Quirky

You have really touched my heart. Thank you, my friend.

My commitment to bb, the forums and our community is much bigger than one difficult experience. I definitely plan to continue being here.

Please know that I hold no ill will toward anyone and I am fine.

Just a good lesson to remind me to continue to try to be very careful with my own words and behaviour, and to continue doing what I can to contribute to community safety.

Kind thoughts to you

Hi mekitty, sorry to hear u have experienced that,

I recommend ppl look at ahpra registration on Google, u can check Ur drs qualifications, and if they have had complaints or rulings against them,

Very well said mekitty.

Info on ethical therapy is important, and a real interest of mine.

There are some good articles on how to tell irpf Ur therapist is narcissistic which helped me identify mine was.

I think Frank and open conversations and info about one's rights in therapy and also listening to others experiences, including negative ones, is important.

I really struggle sometimes keeping my negative experiences to myself. But listening to others negative experiences helped me find good help .

Ratemds is another place where drs are reviewed...it would be good if we had more practical tips instead of just being told to go to a gp.

Hi robthomaslover,

Sometimes posts get forgotten to reply to. Eg i meant to reply to mekitty on this thread several days ago and forgot. I can't even remember now what i was going to say .. just in support of her ideas i think (sorry for that mekitty). But ppl do just sometimes forget. Also as Sleepy was saying sometimes ppl will read but don't know what to say. I wouldn't take it as a personal thing. And this is a mh space.. ppl do what they can do.

I have seen on your thread many consistent and caring replies from Matchy, SummerRose and Quirky and obv Sophie and there are probably ppl i have missed. This is more than many others. If i could make a suggestion it would be to focus on the positives of these kind ppl.

Hello All, everyone thinks differently, and in all honesty, what they say to others is meant with the goodness of their heart, unfortunately, it may not be interrupted the same way as the person who wrote it and taken the wrong way.

I'm sure this was not their intention and would probably want to rephrase the comment but this may not be possible, but if you could walk away, just for a moment and read the comment again in another way, then you might be able to understand what the person is trying to say.

I'm sorry robthomaslover for feeling this way and you are most welcome on the forums, perhaps people can't come to terms with your username change, just saying.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Hi,

I dd mention about GPs but was talking about the idea of pushing the medical model on users here, and how narrow it is.

I asked for General discussions about toxic positivity here and fantasy ideas about mental health and I personally didn't connect to Ur response, but that happens.

I've got to look after myself here, but I think that's not about hurting or ignoring others.

Hi Robthomaslover. I'm sorry I didn't pay enough to each post coming into BB Cafe, congratulating Matchy in advance of the birth of a grandchild. That rather took attention away from you, I suppose, leaving you feeling overlooked. If the BB Café was a real café, the scene would have been that a small excited crowd had gathered to congratulate Matchyin the middle.

Then Matchy & Sleepy were having a good conversation about hail & car stuff too, so I let it be... It seems to be that way sometimes.

I don't know you from before, or very well yet, so I don't know where you are likely to be posting, yet, either. I don't go into every Section or look into every Thread. There is so much here!

I'll try to keep in mind; you'd like people to say 'hello'. 😸

...Which reminds me, I have found the 'search' thing not very helpful. I also have trouble filtering the results. I'd like to ask for 'most recent' or for a specific year, maybe?

mmMekitty

Noooo , no at all and don't worry about such things.

That happens to me to, probably everyone some time or other it's not personal at all and l remember from your other id people really loved you about, did myself to , even if l didn;t say hello or something some times.But there are things to like me for example l'm dyslexic and it's a real strain reading too many posts or going back when l'm replying or forgetting something. l can only handle a couple. l notice to other people will pick out one they relate to or specific replies and stuff and that's fair enough to can't getem all.There's a lot of people and it's a lot of work , it's not personal.

Take care.

rx

Totally agree

Robthomaslover

As I remember Ur previous interactions here I know u often wrote ppl ignored u, and then said they misunderstood Ur avpd, or weren't sensitive to Ur triggers.

May I point out I have a similar diagnosis, and I so understand, and I speak up tonnes anout bullying on the forum,and work a lot to include ppl.

Hi Sleepy

I want to chime in here and validate what you just said.

You are kind and strong at the same time and I see you as a passionate champion for your core beliefs.

Your kind words have made a real difference to me when I have felt unwelcome here and I am grateful to you.

You and robthomaslover have a challenging condition to manage. I don’t know a lot about it. Perhaps you could team up to help educate me and others who want to learn? Just a thought.

Kind thoughts to you

Hi Summerose, thanks therr are 3 clusters of personality disorders, cluster a, b and c.

I have a personality disorder from repeated traumas. I experienced repeated abuse and neglect growing up and as a result my brain is always trying to male things safe. For me, at times, I control my situation to feel safe.

I don't identify wholly with myself through the personality disorder, I think some of the traits I've beat through self awareness and therapy. I hold it lightly.

But a comppex personality disorder, tbh, I know I have. It's also very stigmatised.

I would describe it as a type of chronic anxiety about feeling threatened or that my trauma is recurring. I'm also super hard on myself or others at times, because I am trying to keep safe.

Avdp is not my diagnosis exactly but is also a cluster c disorder, they are similar. Attachment styles also come in to it, there is healthy attachment, anxious and avoidant.

I use the knowledge but I don't hold it so firmly, I think personality disorders are completely treatable and the literature or pop dialogue around it sometimes makes it sound like it's a stuck, static way of being.

Some of my ocpd traits have literally dissolved in front of my eyes with correct treatment and supportive therapy.

I'm proud of having a perosnality disorder, it doesn't mean we're mean or controlling, it's an extended form of coping after trauma.

Thank u for Ur kindness, I was very scared to mention my disorder here for fear of stigma. Ur very caring summer Rose and all.