Hi Mark ur right, it is a big help

being not believed is a huge issue... it feels safe when ppl assume that ur experience is valid, real and true.
Even in the Mh system sometimes the wya ppl talk to patients is to assume that they are in some way distorting facts... it's pretty damaging.

I'm sorry u have also experienced feeling like ppl don't believe you. That's terrible and ppl dont realise how hard it makes it to get help when they are skeptical and unsupportive.

Dear Matchy~

Those two are essential, nobody should suffer disrespect or lack of compassion here.

It's written into the rules above, and it is one of the jobs of the moderators who are here 24/7 to try to ensure it does not happen.

Even so it cansomwetimes. People write to the Forum in all states of distress and sometimes that can come out in the form of anger or desire to lash out or insult. Sometimes these posts are not easy to pick up and get though.

Then it is the job of all of us to report those posts. I've done so (Community Champs have no more powers than any other poster), and I'm sure very many more have to.

Please do not hesitate if you feel you are being treated badly by another; hit the red REPORT POST link and say what is wrong. It takes all of us, moderators and posters, to keep this place safe.

Is that OK?

Croix

Hi Mark, Sleepy21, Quirky, mb20lover, eight, Geoff and everyone!

Thankyou Mark for mentioning 'having members treating everyone with respect and compassion on here would really help' This is an excellent point and I hope it has been noted too!

I am very proud to be a volunteer on the forums to provide the best possible support/peace of mind through my own 'lived' experience

my kindest

Paul

Hi Sleep21

you have mentioned a good point as many people dont use the 'Report Post' function. Doing so is difficult as it can be a form of confrontation to an individual with even low level mental health issues

Nice1 Sleepy!

Hello Tayla, I'm sorry I missed an important word 'not' in what I said

These miracles and more are bound to happen, so what is said should NOT be taken as gospel, everybody is different.

My apologies.

Geoff.

Hi Geoff and everyone else.

I just don't feel that welcome here anymore. I try to interact with members, old and new, welcome new people to the forums and try to offer advice, whether it may be helpful to them or not. I try to include everybody and be kind and compassionate. I often feel left out whether that may be intentional or not. I know it's not all about me but what I'm saying is I feel excluded. I do try to stay on topic and interact with people, it can be difficult to say on topic regardless of the thread, yes.

As for the helplines, I'm always told to go away whether it's Kids Helpline, eHeadspace, etc etc. I was feeling awful one night and went on at 9pm (my depression is always worse at night, always has been, don't know why) and I was still waiting at 11:30pm. Then I was told to go away and they're 24/7 or eHeadspace closes at 1am. Of course this made me feel worthless and like I'm not deserving of help.

himb20lover ,

I am sorry you have felt excluded on the forums. I agree with Paul that I have found your posts thoughtful and they had to discussions.

It makes me sad to think people done feel welcome or feel excluded.

I am sorry that you have had not had any help from help lines. I know not all are 24/7 but some are. I can see if you decide to ring and then are are told to go away you would feel bad.

Is there any thread on the forum where you do feel welcome.

Thanks again for being honest in sharing how you feel because this thread is about improving the forum. We need people to tell us how they so we can improve.

Take care

Thank you Paul and quirky.

Also I'm having trouble changing my profile picture, I have been for a while?

Dear Mb20lover~

I saw you post a couple of days ago about not being perhaps as taken into the fold or replied to, not only here but external places too. This is something you simply do not deserve. Due to my own hassles I've not been able to get back to you till now.

By now between Quirky and Paul and Match you probably are feeling this may be passing and what I'm saying unnecessary, however if you want a guaranteed reply at some stage in the future post to me at my contact thread

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/croix-parler

and let me know your home thread, I'll reply there. If you do not have a thread talk to me on mine. I cannot promise to answer quickly, but it will come. You are valued here.

What do you need to talk about? No real rules, it has a lot of interesting things about art, theater, books and life, but also a place where some have simply vented -and that's been OK too.

For what its worth the offer will always be open

Croix

Hi Croix and everybody else. Thank you for commenting back.

Here's my thread I stick to if anyone wants to check it out. All the info is on the 1st page obviously.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/depression/hi-everyone-i-39-m-back-/page/6#qyWWwHHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

Hi Croix and others

I've been reading the posts over the last few days with intetest, as I've very recently been questioning my own value here.

The "report post" button is a great tool but I've been wondering if it needs to be promoted more.

And something I've never been clear on is when to report a post. I understand from the rules, "if you see abuse, report it to us". But, here's the dumb question, what's abuse?

I assume a post that is hostile, a personal attack or something malicious. Not sure about condescending, rude or belittling. A fine line between assertive and aggressive, that's always open to interpretation. And what about cliquey conversations that isolate and leave people out.

I know the forums are moderated to enhance safety, and understand and value their role. Always wondered if they are mental health professionals. Not sure if it's okay to even ask, so no pressure to respond.

Kind thoughts to you all

Hi Summer Rose

100 percent yes agreed.

Hi Summer Rose.

I agree with you also. But I can assure you that you're very welcome here. I often feel unwelcome too, but maybe that's just me and my paranoia and self hatred. But everyone here is welcome, I try to make everybody, current or new members, feel that way.

With the thing you said about the report button, I agree. I've been excluded in posts myself, even if I just say hi or try to offer some advice or something. I try to move on to other threads if that happens but I still get upset by it. I know how it feels to be excluded in real life and online so I try not to make people like that.

Summer rose

you are a very valued member of the forum community. I always find your posts so understanding and I wish I could write like you do. I wonder if you font mind asking why you have been questioning your value here. Don’t answer if you would rather not.

The report button is for all the reasons you mentioned and when you may feel unsure or uncomfortable.
sometimes moderators explain why they have left a comment while acknowledging my concerns .

If anyone is feeling excluded or bullied or upset by another’s words they should hit report button.

Thanks again Summer Rose for making very relevant points.

Hi quirky.

For example, do you mean if someone were to comment on a post and they continually get ignored, then they should report and say they're continuously ignored or?

Hi All

i do think the using of the Report Button should be normalised, promoted and encouraged

Subtle types of bullying often go through unnoticed. I am also like you mblover20 quite sensitive to exclusion and even if its not me being excluded, I think it's hurtful to see it on the forums as I can understand what the person is experiencing.

Hello everyone..

I have also been listening along for a couple of days..

I know when I first joined the forums..I used to try to include all the people that reached out to me..being new I didn’t know I could reply individually to people..I just pressed the reply button of the last person to post to me...and addressed them only..When I realised what I was doing and it took a lot of months..then I felt really bad with myself...and started mentioning each poster’s name that posted on my thread...

I think everyone at some time gets left out of replies..I have been left out many many times, but that doesn’t mean that my support wasn’t valued to the person I was posting or replying to....I know that having mental health issues causes people to feel low self esteem, as well as vulnerability, fear of talking or saying something that might upset someone...When people reach out here for help, they are mentally unwell and we are strangers to them...they are scared and hurting..and they are more likely to reply to something said by a poster, that they feel comfortable talking about...and are unaware and not deliberately ignoring anyone...

These forums are a mental health forum..that could be the last place people reach out to...Looking for help and support.....it’s not a chatting forum to make friends..although connections and friends can be made...The support for each other’s mental health is still ongoing..

Please be patient with each other, especially new members....care for each other, support each other, be their for each other... respect each other in the best way we all can...

Summer Rose..reporting a post is for..If your concerned about the safety of the person posting, if you feel the poster is judging someone..offensive language, I think that if a post offends you then report it...The moderators will look at it and take it off if it needs to be..the moderator I think will contact you about what they decide..

My kindest and most caring thoughts everyone...and if I’ve said wrong or offended anyone..it wasn’t intentional and I’m sorry if I did..

Grandy.l

Sometimes posts just get missed - especially if several people have been posting on a thread and sometimes people are in a hurry or upset and miss something. I think the Report button should be for something that is obviously rude, or threatening, or swearing etc - not just a missed post. I think it's important for people to realize other things may be going on, the person who misses their post may be distracted or busy or something happens where they are... or they just don't see it, or don't think for a moment... they may be in a rush.

I think everyone just needs to realize sometimes this happens and it's not personal.

Hi Mark,

Same as you I've had a little look for the rules and they are spread out in different sections.
I am not sure re not mentioning medications - does this mean the specific brand name, or lets say the "family" of medications etc... I'm a bit blurry on that personally.

I am comforted to know I"m not the only one who was confused by the rules and couldn't find them many times.

Matchy69 said:I think we need the rules easier to find and that at the top of forums have a note that everyone is to be treated with respect and compassion and no one is to be excluded in threads,It is for all.

this is a great goal

Hi Grandy - thanks so much for ur comments.

Definitely offensive language etc and also discriminatory language etc. I've had posts removed for discouraging help-seeking which was hard but I understood. That was not that I told a member not to seek help, but that I shared my experience about not being supported when I was seeking help from an organisation - so that was too negative. That's why I am thinking that maybe we can open up our discussions a bit more in terms of if someone isn't successful help-seeking from a helpline etc we can allow them to vent about it... But I guess in this instance it was seen as maybe someone would read that and then not call a helpline...

I don't know...

Sleepy - I completely agree with you, I feel sad if others get ignored too. Can we please make it a clearer rule to make sure to include everybody, even if they just pass by and say hello? I've seen people get ignored even if they ask a question or say hello, myself included.

Mark - I agree with you about the rules, I've found them difficult to find also and I sometimes forget the rules, that's not intentional of course.

Grandy - I agree with you also. I try to include everybody and welcome new members because we were all new at some point and I want to make new members feel welcome. I've seen some new people post here and never come back, whether thats been something they're going through, they didn't like it here, or whatever the issue may be, I find that sad and I hope that they're doing OK and didn't feel pushed away.

I think it would be a good idea to have a notification thing, which is automatic. I know that would be hard to do however, but what I mean is just notifications such as "(username) replied to your post, or tagged you" or something. That should be easy enough to do. I realise there's hundreds or more members here but I think it would be easier that way people know, especially new members who find it tricky, when somebody has replied to their thread and that way people wouldn't feel ignored because they've got the notification someone has replied to them. I know it will come up in the "my thread" section but still.

I'm not criticising any part of the forum, just offering friendly suggestions. I don't like seeing people excluded, whether it's me or other people.

Hanna - yeah I guess you're right, and hello to you. I guess it could also be that they're familiar with certain users and feel comfortable with them. Who knows.

HI Mark that's true it's not really to make friendships etc but to support and connect in offering MH support

Ppl are going through a lot. Everyone here.