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Forums / Re-designing and upgrading the Online Forums / How can we improve the forums? Your suggestions and comments please

Topic: How can we improve the forums? Your suggestions and comments please

  1. Sleepy21
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    26 December 2020 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark ur right, it is a big help

    being not believed is a huge issue... it feels safe when ppl assume that ur experience is valid, real and true.
    Even in the Mh system sometimes the wya ppl talk to patients is to assume that they are in some way distorting facts... it's pretty damaging.

    I'm sorry u have also experienced feeling like ppl don't believe you. That's terrible and ppl dont realise how hard it makes it to get help when they are skeptical and unsupportive.

    3 people found this helpful
  2. Croix
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    26 December 2020 in reply to Matchy69

    Dear Matchy~

    Those two are essential, nobody should suffer disrespect or lack of compassion here.

    It's written into the rules above, and it is one of the jobs of the moderators who are here 24/7 to try to ensure it does not happen.

    Even so it cansomwetimes. People write to the Forum in all states of distress and sometimes that can come out in the form of anger or desire to lash out or insult. Sometimes these posts are not easy to pick up and get though.

    Then it is the job of all of us to report those posts. I've done so (Community Champs have no more powers than any other poster), and I'm sure very many more have to.

    Please do not hesitate if you feel you are being treated badly by another; hit the red REPORT POST link and say what is wrong. It takes all of us, moderators and posters, to keep this place safe.

    Is that OK?

    Croix

    3 people found this helpful
  3. Sleepy21
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    26 December 2020 in reply to Croix
    Hi Croix I feel like maybe a lot of ppl don't report, they just leave the forums. I think u make a good point that ppl should feel empowered to report as there's no harm in it.
    2 people found this helpful
  4. blondguy
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    26 December 2020 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark, Sleepy21, Quirky, mb20lover, eight, Geoff and everyone!

    Thankyou Mark for mentioning 'having members treating everyone with respect and compassion on here would really help' This is an excellent point and I hope it has been noted too!

    I am very proud to be a volunteer on the forums to provide the best possible support/peace of mind through my own 'lived' experience

    my kindest

    Paul

    3 people found this helpful
  5. blondguy
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    26 December 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleep21

    you have mentioned a good point as many people dont use the 'Report Post' function. Doing so is difficult as it can be a form of confrontation to an individual with even low level mental health issues

    Nice1 Sleepy!

    3 people found this helpful
  6. geoff
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    27 December 2020 in reply to geoff

    Hello Tayla, I'm sorry I missed an important word 'not' in what I said

    These miracles and more are bound to happen, so what is said should NOT be taken as gospel, everybody is different.

    My apologies.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Missing user
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    27 December 2020 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff and everyone else.

    I just don't feel that welcome here anymore. I try to interact with members, old and new, welcome new people to the forums and try to offer advice, whether it may be helpful to them or not. I try to include everybody and be kind and compassionate. I often feel left out whether that may be intentional or not. I know it's not all about me but what I'm saying is I feel excluded. I do try to stay on topic and interact with people, it can be difficult to say on topic regardless of the thread, yes.

    As for the helplines, I'm always told to go away whether it's Kids Helpline, eHeadspace, etc etc. I was feeling awful one night and went on at 9pm (my depression is always worse at night, always has been, don't know why) and I was still waiting at 11:30pm. Then I was told to go away and they're 24/7 or eHeadspace closes at 1am. Of course this made me feel worthless and like I'm not deserving of help.

    3 people found this helpful
  8. blondguy
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    27 December 2020 in reply to Missing user
    Hi mb20lover
    Feel excluded is not a good place to be in at all

    Just a note if I can. You have always been a breath of fresh air on the forums. I find your posts caring and supportive of others

    I think you are an important part of what the forums stand for and good on you!

    My kindest always

    Paul

    5 people found this helpful
  9. quirkywords
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    27 December 2020 in reply to Missing user

    himb20lover ,

    I am sorry you have felt excluded on the forums. I agree with Paul that I have found your posts thoughtful and they had to discussions.

    It makes me sad to think people done feel welcome or feel excluded.

    I am sorry that you have had not had any help from help lines. I know not all are 24/7 but some are. I can see if you decide to ring and then are are told to go away you would feel bad.

    Is there any thread on the forum where you do feel welcome.

    Thanks again for being honest in sharing how you feel because this thread is about improving the forum. We need people to tell us how they so we can improve.

    Take care

    3 people found this helpful
  10. Missing user
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    27 December 2020

    Thank you Paul and quirky.

    Also I'm having trouble changing my profile picture, I have been for a while?

  11. Matchy69
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    27 December 2020 in reply to Missing user
    Hi Tayla I have been having trouble to changing my profile picture.I had to use a different phone to change it but still I had to have a couple of goes at it for it to work.
    Take care,
    Mark.
  12. Missing user
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    27 December 2020 in reply to Matchy69
    All good Mark, I changed it. Thanks.
  13. Croix
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    27 December 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Dear Mb20lover~

    I saw you post a couple of days ago about not being perhaps as taken into the fold or replied to, not only here but external places too. This is something you simply do not deserve. Due to my own hassles I've not been able to get back to you till now.

    By now between Quirky and Paul and Match you probably are feeling this may be passing and what I'm saying unnecessary, however if you want a guaranteed reply at some stage in the future post to me at my contact thread

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/croix-parler

    and let me know your home thread, I'll reply there. If you do not have a thread talk to me on mine. I cannot promise to answer quickly, but it will come. You are valued here.

    What do you need to talk about? No real rules, it has a lot of interesting things about art, theater, books and life, but also a place where some have simply vented -and that's been OK too.

    For what its worth the offer will always be open

    Croix

    4 people found this helpful
  14. Missing user
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Croix

    Hi Croix and everybody else. Thank you for commenting back.

    Here's my thread I stick to if anyone wants to check it out. All the info is on the 1st page obviously.

    https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/depression/hi-everyone-i-39-m-back-/page/6#qyWWwHHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

  15. Summer Rose
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hi Croix and others

    I've been reading the posts over the last few days with intetest, as I've very recently been questioning my own value here.

    The "report post" button is a great tool but I've been wondering if it needs to be promoted more.

    And something I've never been clear on is when to report a post. I understand from the rules, "if you see abuse, report it to us". But, here's the dumb question, what's abuse?

    I assume a post that is hostile, a personal attack or something malicious. Not sure about condescending, rude or belittling. A fine line between assertive and aggressive, that's always open to interpretation. And what about cliquey conversations that isolate and leave people out.

    I know the forums are moderated to enhance safety, and understand and value their role. Always wondered if they are mental health professionals. Not sure if it's okay to even ask, so no pressure to respond.

    Kind thoughts to you all

    5 people found this helpful
  16. Sleepy21
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Summer Rose

    Hi Summer Rose

    100 percent yes agreed.

    3 people found this helpful
  17. Missing user
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Summer Rose

    Hi Summer Rose.

    I agree with you also. But I can assure you that you're very welcome here. I often feel unwelcome too, but maybe that's just me and my paranoia and self hatred. But everyone here is welcome, I try to make everybody, current or new members, feel that way.

    With the thing you said about the report button, I agree. I've been excluded in posts myself, even if I just say hi or try to offer some advice or something. I try to move on to other threads if that happens but I still get upset by it. I know how it feels to be excluded in real life and online so I try not to make people like that.

    4 people found this helpful
  18. quirkywords
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Summer Rose

    Summer rose

    you are a very valued member of the forum community. I always find your posts so understanding and I wish I could write like you do. I wonder if you font mind asking why you have been questioning your value here. Don’t answer if you would rather not.

    The report button is for all the reasons you mentioned and when you may feel unsure or uncomfortable.
    sometimes moderators explain why they have left a comment while acknowledging my concerns .

    If anyone is feeling excluded or bullied or upset by another’s words they should hit report button.

    Thanks again Summer Rose for making very relevant points.

    2 people found this helpful
  19. Missing user
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    28 December 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi quirky.

    For example, do you mean if someone were to comment on a post and they continually get ignored, then they should report and say they're continuously ignored or?

    2 people found this helpful
  20. Sleepy21
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    28 December 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi All

    i do think the using of the Report Button should be normalised, promoted and encouraged

    Subtle types of bullying often go through unnoticed. I am also like you mblover20 quite sensitive to exclusion and even if its not me being excluded, I think it's hurtful to see it on the forums as I can understand what the person is experiencing.

    3 people found this helpful
  21. Ggrand
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hello everyone..

    I have also been listening along for a couple of days..

    I know when I first joined the forums..I used to try to include all the people that reached out to me..being new I didn’t know I could reply individually to people..I just pressed the reply button of the last person to post to me...and addressed them only..When I realised what I was doing and it took a lot of months..then I felt really bad with myself...and started mentioning each poster’s name that posted on my thread...

    I think everyone at some time gets left out of replies..I have been left out many many times, but that doesn’t mean that my support wasn’t valued to the person I was posting or replying to....I know that having mental health issues causes people to feel low self esteem, as well as vulnerability, fear of talking or saying something that might upset someone...When people reach out here for help, they are mentally unwell and we are strangers to them...they are scared and hurting..and they are more likely to reply to something said by a poster, that they feel comfortable talking about...and are unaware and not deliberately ignoring anyone...

    These forums are a mental health forum..that could be the last place people reach out to...Looking for help and support.....it’s not a chatting forum to make friends..although connections and friends can be made...The support for each other’s mental health is still ongoing..

    Please be patient with each other, especially new members....care for each other, support each other, be their for each other... respect each other in the best way we all can...

    Summer Rose..reporting a post is for..If your concerned about the safety of the person posting, if you feel the poster is judging someone..offensive language, I think that if a post offends you then report it...The moderators will look at it and take it off if it needs to be..the moderator I think will contact you about what they decide..

    My kindest and most caring thoughts everyone...and if I’ve said wrong or offended anyone..it wasn’t intentional and I’m sorry if I did..

    Grandy.l

    6 people found this helpful
  22. Matchy69
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    28 December 2020
    Hi I have been looking for the rules of the forums to refresh them for myself but can't find them.They are not easy to find.I think we need the rules easier to find and that at the top of forums have a note that everyone is to be treated with respect and compassion and no one is to be excluded in threads,It is for all.
    4 people found this helpful
  23. Hanna3
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Sometimes posts just get missed - especially if several people have been posting on a thread and sometimes people are in a hurry or upset and miss something. I think the Report button should be for something that is obviously rude, or threatening, or swearing etc - not just a missed post. I think it's important for people to realize other things may be going on, the person who misses their post may be distracted or busy or something happens where they are... or they just don't see it, or don't think for a moment... they may be in a rush.

    I think everyone just needs to realize sometimes this happens and it's not personal.

    3 people found this helpful
  24. Sleepy21
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark,

    Same as you I've had a little look for the rules and they are spread out in different sections.
    I am not sure re not mentioning medications - does this mean the specific brand name, or lets say the "family" of medications etc... I'm a bit blurry on that personally.

    I am comforted to know I"m not the only one who was confused by the rules and couldn't find them many times.

    3 people found this helpful
  25. Sleepy21
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Matchy69

    Matchy69 said:I think we need the rules easier to find and that at the top of forums have a note that everyone is to be treated with respect and compassion and no one is to be excluded in threads,It is for all.

    this is a great goal

    3 people found this helpful
  26. Sleepy21
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy - thanks so much for ur comments.

    Definitely offensive language etc and also discriminatory language etc. I've had posts removed for discouraging help-seeking which was hard but I understood. That was not that I told a member not to seek help, but that I shared my experience about not being supported when I was seeking help from an organisation - so that was too negative. That's why I am thinking that maybe we can open up our discussions a bit more in terms of if someone isn't successful help-seeking from a helpline etc we can allow them to vent about it... But I guess in this instance it was seen as maybe someone would read that and then not call a helpline...

    I don't know...

    2 people found this helpful
  27. Missing user
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    Sleepy - I completely agree with you, I feel sad if others get ignored too. Can we please make it a clearer rule to make sure to include everybody, even if they just pass by and say hello? I've seen people get ignored even if they ask a question or say hello, myself included.

    Mark - I agree with you about the rules, I've found them difficult to find also and I sometimes forget the rules, that's not intentional of course.

    Grandy - I agree with you also. I try to include everybody and welcome new members because we were all new at some point and I want to make new members feel welcome. I've seen some new people post here and never come back, whether thats been something they're going through, they didn't like it here, or whatever the issue may be, I find that sad and I hope that they're doing OK and didn't feel pushed away.

    I think it would be a good idea to have a notification thing, which is automatic. I know that would be hard to do however, but what I mean is just notifications such as "(username) replied to your post, or tagged you" or something. That should be easy enough to do. I realise there's hundreds or more members here but I think it would be easier that way people know, especially new members who find it tricky, when somebody has replied to their thread and that way people wouldn't feel ignored because they've got the notification someone has replied to them. I know it will come up in the "my thread" section but still.

    I'm not criticising any part of the forum, just offering friendly suggestions. I don't like seeing people excluded, whether it's me or other people.

    Hanna - yeah I guess you're right, and hello to you. I guess it could also be that they're familiar with certain users and feel comfortable with them. Who knows.

    1 person found this helpful
  28. Matchy69
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Ggrand
    Hi Grandy I think you made a good point their that these are mental health forums and people are reaching out for support and I think we really need to remember that.
    4 people found this helpful
  29. Missing user
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Sleepy21
    I've seen people swear at other members here, whether they actually used the words or letters like $ or #. And the people who were getting sworn at were just trying to be polite. I believe that these posts were deleted and these people were banned (I would hope so because thats no way to speak to somebody)
    1 person found this helpful
  30. Sleepy21
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    28 December 2020 in reply to Matchy69

    HI Mark that's true it's not really to make friendships etc but to support and connect in offering MH support

    Ppl are going through a lot. Everyone here.

    3 people found this helpful

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