G'day Summer Rose, I like most of your post and I'm hoping not to be impolite or disrespectful here, as I disagree with some of it.
chilloice, I hope you don't mind me being thorough with my posting in your thread. Please use the report post on any post I write if you need to thanks. It's your thread I cede to you.
There's two quotations in Summer Rose's post, neither would work for me in "his" situation, but may for chilloice.
The first quote, for me is too vague, it's the kind of stuff that would make me ask more questions or make more statements. Those examples would be... If we're different so what, opposites attract. Our life goals are different, how's that matter? How do we know it won't work long term? Lets try. The vagueness might lead him into not moving forward.
The second quote is nearly great but in my honest opinion needs all "I" statements about chilloice moving forward, rather than "you" statements about his past.
Not "you are unmotivated" but instead, "I am motivated." The I statement shows the valuable thing is her motivation, it models motivation rather than punishes un-motivation.
Not "you're addicted to weed", but instead "I don't want weed any where near me." We aren't pointing at him, instead saying what chilloice has already implied about her own needs.
I think by being peacefully clear about the specific issues and needs that chilloice brings up in her OP and using "I" statements things will be better for everyone concerned going forward.
Thanks for listening.