My partner of 3.5 years has suffered for some time with depression but hadn't acted on it until 3 weeks ago. He made a move to a town far from home(Melb) & was struggling on his own. I made him go to a GP after suffering get another nervous break down. he was put on antidepressants & was told to try his best at making his life happy with sport, friends, family ect.
2 days ago I came home to him with my brother & their friend having a nice time over a few drinks, I was cooking dinner & my partner suddlenly left the house & upon following him & asking what's wrong he told me he "can't do this anymore" & "can't be with me anymore", & before I could get a word in someone came to pick him up.
this came as a HUGE shock to me, as I hadn't seen any changes in our relationship or the way he treated me, to the point he begged me to move down to his new home town(moved for work)straight after returning from our 6 week trip to the USA (which was 5 weeks ago.)
(he has also now apparently left this job & is living in Melbourne again)
i messaged him to ask if he was ok & to call & chat when he's ready. I received an immediate call back, & he confirmed he was breaking up with me for a number of reasons:
- He believes he needs to be with someone with more "structure & drive" than I have (I have always worked full time until being made redundant before our trip, and still not working as I moved to a small town with not many jobs)
- he can't be looking after me right now
- he needs to figure out who he is right now
- he believes we've been toxic for each other for some time now
he then came over the next day &spoke more which ended with my crying on the stairs & him driving away.
im devastated & so confused about what happened because I can't get answers & I can't get in contact with him; the person who told me only a week ago he wanted to marry me one day.
as a desperate bid to understand what is happening I made the mistake of logging into his Facebook& saw he was searching for a number ex-flings prior to our relationship
Friends & family of ours believe this isn't a permanent break up, he will come around, which I somewhat believed before seeing his Facebook, now I'm scared this is for good & it's not just the depression.
i just don't know what to do from here, do I reach out to him to see how he is? Do I wait for him to contact me? I just need closure but I feel so helpless as he wouldn't give me a straight answer.
please help me, I'm desperately seeking guidance