I'm really sorry to hear about the issues you're experiencing with your husband. I'm not a doctor or professional MH practitioner, just a mother and wife of 30 years. For what it's worth, here's my take ...
I think you likely are being punished because you have something he doesn't, fertility. My guess is that it's on a subconscious level, unless you think he's prone to being irrational and cruel. To add to that, your poor husband has suffered another serious blow--losing his job.
I can't help but guess that he might be struggling on many levels to do with his idea of "manhood" and what a man should be able to do and what a man should be able to provide. (I could be totally wrong here you know him best. Does this make sense to you?) From my experience, should statements are a common pattern of negative thinking that affect mental health.
None of that means that he doesn't love you or that he doesn't value the marriage and your family. If he is "just not the same person" since losing his job, it is entirely possible--given what he's been through--that he is experiencing a mental health condition.
Many people, like your husband, are reluctant to seek help. Could be stigma, fear or his beliefs. I guess the question is, do you love him?
If you love him and want to repair the relationship, you might want to suggest marriage counselling because a life with someone you "can't bear" isn't much of a life. Maybe if he realises how his behaviour is affecting you and that you are now struggling he might be open to it. This might also shift the discussion from "you have a problem" to "we have a problem", which might make him feel less pressure.
I don't know if this advice will help you, just my thoughts.
Kind thoughts to you