I feel totally destroyed.I trusted my sister with my life.We went into business together 3 years ago.She ran the business and took care of the money side of things.No issues I trusted her.Our property was on the part of mortgage for the business.We had a falling out 2 years ago and I lived those 2 years of my life scared,the business was put on the market but did not sell.I got called into work one day 3 months ago to be told by here that her and her family were filing for bankruptcy,and had already done so they were closing the doors the next day.She had closed all the accounts that day which made it impossible to sell or for me to even take over.They had been planning this I found out later for a month.She left owing near $50,000 to creditors and on their way out they stole a lot of stock ...just heartbreaking to me I still have trouble coming to terms with it everyday.I had to take 4 weeks off work to empty the business which was devastating.
This is when my life started spiralling out of control.Its all my fault that my family has been left with over half a million dollars debt.The dream house we built on our dream property over the last 10 years with blood sweat and tears is for sale and we only have a month left before the banks take it.
I am so angry at myself some days that I just want to get in my car and drive and never stop.It drives me insane when everyone makes the remark...oh you lost everything,but at least you have each other.My husband never gets angry with me but I know that we both have had thoughts of suicide and Mad moments of just bawling.This was our life ,this is what we both created together for our family all our hard work ,all the spending time apart to make it happen with work,the two jobs and sometimes 3 my husband held so we could build our dream.We started with nothing 10 years ago ..Now it is all crashing down around us bit by bit.And I feel so guilty so so guilty.I just don't know what to do ,where to go and how to even put one foot in front of the other while this is going on,it feels as though we are in Limbo.I put on a brave face at work and look happy and chatty but inside my heart feels as though it is crushed.This is a small town and everybody knows what has happened.I feel so ashamed.So stupid and angry with myself.
We have two sons who are beautiful young men.I feel that I have let them down so much as this amazing property was built with love for them in the future.I think being where we are now in limbo is the hardest place to be, we have sold just about all our belongings we have to pay some of creditors and we just keep praying that the house will sell.That there is someone out there that will love and cherish this place as much as we have.The market at the moment is certainly not doing us any favours.
I just don't know how to cope through this nightmare I feel I have created.