James, it sounds like you have lost both a relationship, and a support network when you moved cities. That's really hard. Actually, I think it sounds like you are experiencing grief as well as that blow to your self esteem. Gosh, that's hard! Like the rug has been pulled from under your feet, and you must be really finding it hard to know how to move forward. What strikes me is that you have been putting in a lot of effort to make it work, only to have those efforts fail. That's disheartening. This I understand, I have been working hard to make my marriage work, but he has repeatedly told me he isn't interested in it/me. And so, some tips from my personal experience here is to keep doing what you can to connect with friends, do exercise, and when you are in those quiet moments and the weight of all of it comes to bring you down, please do your best to remind yourself of all the great things you are as you are separate to a relationship. Your identity isn't only valuable within the space of a relationship. I have also started a 'gratefulness' list- never have I felt the need to do this before, but I find it helps to keep the negative thoughts at bay. Basically, take a moment to write down and consider the things that ARE going well in your life. Sometimes, the list is not enough, because the pain is too much. Also, cry. You are grieving, so let yourself grieve. Grief needs to find expression for as long as it takes for you to start to heal. No-one can define how long grief takes. Also, it's not just time that heals grief- grief heals with intentional choices to grow, and do those things that bring healing. And, when it's all too hard and you are too tired from the weight of it, just breathe and chill out. Sorry that was long, hoping my crappy journey can help you somehow.