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Forums / Relationship and family issues / Break up, not coping

Topic: Break up, not coping

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Aynat
    Aynat avatar
    1 posts
    11 July 2015
    I was with my boyfriend for seven years. Ten months ago he told me he wanted to explore his sexuality. I was shattered. We were so close, i would speak to him everyday. Since our break up we have been on a roller coaster of emotions. We have even hooked up a few times. We hooked up recently and about three weeks afterwards i found out he had slept with a man. I am so hurt. I have not had one day go by without crying. I have lost my best friend. I am just so hurt that he is able to move on. I feel like our relationship meant nothing and that i mean nothing. 
  2. Zeal
    Champion Alumni
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    Zeal avatar
    1737 posts
    12 July 2015 in reply to Aynat

    Dear Aynat,

    I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of this long-term relationship. I really hope you are able to talk things through with him, so that you know where you stand relationship-wise. Have a calm one-on-one talk with him, to gauge what his future plans and intentions are regarding his relationship and/or friendship with you. I don't have any personal experience with this kind of situation, so unfortunately I don't feel I can give you much advice.

    I hope you are able to find a solution to this situation.

    Best wishes,

    SM

  3. Zeal
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Zeal avatar
    1737 posts
    12 July 2015 in reply to Aynat

    Hello again,

    I just wanted to say that there is no way you would have meant nothing to this man. Being in a relationship with someone for seven years is very significant, and there is a good chance he regrets hurting you, but is avoiding discussion of the situation. He sounds very confused about his sexuality and identity.

    Best wishes,

    SM

     

  4. Jonathan256
    Jonathan256 avatar
    2 posts
    13 July 2015

    Hi there Aynat!

    First off, I hope that you're having an amazing day today and hopefully feeling a little better about things with all the great advice! 

    I can relate in ways, i recently had broken up with my girlfriend of about 3 and a bit years. Although it was a very toxic relationship and went up and down constantly breaking up, getting back together, hooking up, the works really, it was time to let that ship sail for me. 

    Anyway! It seems as if your relationship was very steady, lasting seven years is definitely an achievement in terms of a relationship. You never meant "nothing" to him, you were together for a very long time and I can guarantee he would still have feelings for you regardless to what he is doing currently. Yes he does seem confused about his sexuality and has shattered your heart into a million pieces, but that does not mean that you can not be strong and move forward from this. This doesn't mean you have to go out and date or anything like that, because usually that seems to be the last thing people want to do when coming out of a long term relationship, that step can take months or even years to move on to. I feel as if for now, you should be selfish. Focus on your life, your goals, your ambitions. Find a new hobby, work out, connect with old friends, anything that will help you grow stronger in your mind and body. 

    I know the exact feeling of feeling like you are worthless after all that time, how could he just up and leave? The relationship may be over but you are not, YOU are strong and YOU can and will beat this!

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