Most of us have a need to be loved and to give love. Those primeval inbuilt characteristics that means the survival of the human race.
But some if us are monogumous, we don't want to share our partner. We have set standards on so many things like no flirting, no affairs, etc and this is what traditional marriage was meant to achieve, commitment of both parties no less than 100%. Now it might not include marriage but for many if us a verbal promise of expectation between you and a partner means the same.
But "love" has a big problem...it lacks logic. We've all enjoyed that honeymoon period where little logic is needed then comes the introduction of provisos, essentially each partners rules, boundaries and expectations. And why not, for you are laying your valued future in the line.
Fast track to a while later and suspicions arise when you notice possible infringing of a boundary going on. You hesitate for you fear your partner will object towards any hint of not being trusted.
Test your fears...pursue your instinct, find out....clarify!! But carry it out silently always with the view that you could be over sensitive.
Deceit leaves evidence. As a private investigator for many years evidence can come in so many forms. Telephone accounts, car odometer readings, his/her cleanliness after a day at work with a few hours overtime, missing money, a hidden GPS in the car that could be downloaded and so on. "I wonder why he didn't want me at his work Xmas do this year"?
Some might think employing a PI is over the top but clarity is your insurance for a broken heart. Protect your heart. So many vulnerable people live without any idea an affair is going on. Even double lives..
Remember, whatever your boundaries are, patrol them and insist they be obeyed for they are your standards you set that allowed you to agree on such a relationship. Any hint on a breach and you reserve the right to clarify by any means.
Trust is great, confirmation of being trusted is better as it allows you to continue that faith.
Follow your instincts and when, hopefully those instincts prove unworthy of suspicion...you'll be thankful you can build more hope that that love prevails.
But, if your gut feeling proves you were right all along and your boundaries weren't broken, they were destroyed by deceit, also be thankful that you have evidence to allow you to pursue a better life.
Either way, its better than you eroding your mental heath away. Clarity is a win win approach