Hi just coping,
Welcome and thanks for sharing with us.
Infidelity can be one of the most challenging losses to experience, because the person is still here, but the trust and ideals for that person and the relationship have been torn away.
It's positive to hear that communication is open and present. Being able to share and listen are 2 critical elements to regaining trust. The other is time. It would be unrealistic to expect that your trust would return immediately. Your partner now has to show you that he can be trusted again. Have the 2 of you considered marriage counselling? This is something my parents chose to do and found it really helpful. Its good to be able to talk to one another and its helpful to have a 3rd person who can remain objective.
It's up to you if you want to tell your friends. In doing so remember that your husband's affair had nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. It may sound difficult but you have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about, and I think your friends would want to have a choice about supporting you.
In terms of sleep this can have a huge impact on mood and ability to cope. Is your Dr able to prescribe some sleeping tablets, even just temporarily? it might also be worthwhile to get a referral and mental health plan to see a Psychologist, this way you can also get some individual support for you. (The mental health plan will assist financially with 10 sessions).
You should be really proud of the way you have put your children first, it takes a lot of strength to do this, there also needs to be time for you.
I hope this has been helpful.