I couldn't find your thread, if you can tell me what the name of it is and maybe post something there so it comes up to a newer post, I'll get on there too, so any help I can offer is more specific to you - being your thread.
I'll start a thread later this week.... I'll think of a name...
I will put in italics anything you can Google.
I strongly urge anyone in DV / FV situations to, at least, seek Counselling from a person who tags DV / FV in their support title - I see a Counsellor thru Uniting Care and she's freaking amazing.
You may need a professional in this field for many years, esp with childhood DV, as a mentor and sounding board to you and your questions. The work needed by a victim to rise above this can never be underestimated.
A psychologist with same support title can be another source of at least spot therapy as I am having (but this is for diagnosed PTSD and anxiety that became unmanageable this year).
There are SO MANY websites, online clips, books, audio books, even FB pages depending on your circumstances.
ALSO please seek out what free Courses are available for DV / FV at your local Women's Health Centre. THIS was the incredible springboard for my deeper education & understandings around the Cycle of Violence. "Breaking Free" & "The Shark Cage" are the most incredible Courses & I urge ANYONE to do these Courses. Facilitated by 2 Counsellors, so the support was supreme, the content gobsmacking & the engagement onwards excellent.
They will offer these Courses 1:1 if you can't attend group sessions. I highly recommend the groups sessions, 8 for each.
"Red Flags", to me, are behaviours that abusers show to us, even at the beginning of the relationship when they can seem very mild or even endearing! Love bombing is one. Possessiveness, jealousy - major red flags. Usurping ALL your time to the point of excluding your friends, family - major red flag - this is part of "social isolation" abusers to do their victims. There are so many more red flags.... the other thread can help more.
OTHER component to recognise, be aware of & reflect in yourself are certain "key" elements than can make us 'attractive' to an abuser... like a magnet! This is not a complete list... Trigger Warning.. us having "daddy issues", no male figures around ie brothers, father, uncles, male friends... property.. good income.. childhood abuse.. previous SA & more.
Hope this helps