Who understands emotions,
welcome to the forum.
I am so sorry you are feeling alone and left out. I can feel the pain in your words.
Firstly your feelings are valid and understandable.
I don’t have a twin but I had a brother close in age who was very popular. My friends would befriend me just to meet me then not contact me.
I was not social or popular or outgoing like he was. He would have friends over to his room and they would laugh at the nerd , me in my room reading when I wished I was with them.
It is hard but there are people out there who share similar interests who you don’t have to impress. During covid of course it is hard meeting people.
You said you have dropped out of uni classes, but are you still studying at uni.?
It is easy to compare ourselves to others and for others to compare us either knowingly or unknowingly, but we are all different not better .
This talk which goes on in our heads can be really upsetting for you as well your relationship with your sister.
You are are a caring sensitive person who does not need to prove to others. What you are feeling is very real and many people reading your post will relate to what you wrote.
You write very clearly and in a moving way about what you feel about what is happening.
Did you feel a bit better after writing down your emotions ?
Thanks for reaching out and starting a conversation,
You are not alone and we are listening. Feel free to post when you want to.