Hello, I'm writing as I'm so very confused. I was diagnosed in 2013 with GAD and borderline depression due to 21 year marriage breakup. After counselling and time I recovered enough that I stopped having anxiety attacks, I was able to cope with everyday life. Until this year. I had a big move with relocating and changing jobs. I returned to nursing after 8 years away. So, having to settle a child into a new school, as well as re-learn my profession I have struggled to keep anxiety at bay. My sisters ambushed me in May of this year...well, as you can imagine that ended well...huge anxiety attack, and that has made me avoid them completely.
I have a very supportive partner who is completely aware of my anxiety and encourages me to see the counsellor. But, my family don't get it. They say I shouldn't listen to someone I barley know (meaning my partner, we've been together 18 months), I should just get over it or take medication. When I have bad days and feel depressed I'm told I'm looking for attention, when I apologise for seeming that way, I'm also seen to be extending on that. I feel as though I'm the black sheep of the family, but, once again I told to get over it, there are people worse off, people are busy, it's not all about me etc. I understand this. In the last two weeks my anxiety is getting worse, I second guess everything, about work and home. The one time I called my mother to talk myself down I was dismissed, within 5 minutes of calling.
They dont believe I have made the right decision to move, begin my career (that I love) and they don't like (but they don't know him) my partner, all because he encourages me to be happy with my decisions, to be strong and not afraid of taking a chance.
No one from my family has contacted me since that day of being told I'm attention seeking to see if I'm alright, no text messages, emails etc. The only one that is truly happy for me in a new relationship is my ex husband, we have a good relationship now. My kids are happy 22,19 & 11 year olds, it's only my 11 year old that I'm in care of now, the boys have grown up and left home.
Im so angry at them but also so very sad. Nothing I try to explain about this gets through to them. Am I doing the wrong thing by cutting them out of my life to a degree? I want to be happy and feel I can't while this is playing in my head.