I’m not very good at explaining this well, so here we go:

2 years ago my struggles with an eating disorder began and it ruined all of my friendships and stopped me from participating in my sport which is my favourite thing in the entire world. It has taken 2 years to finally gain a healthy relationship with food but I still can’t compete in my sport which is so hard to watch everyone else excel whilst I’ve been stuck on the sidelines for years. I graduated high school 2 years ago and have not spoken to my old ‘friends’ ever since because a lot went on and I wasn’t treated well by anyone. So much has gone on in the last couple of years and I have just been stuck in such a dark place and am really struggling to move on from all the things that occurred because I still can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I had no one to help me through that time and still have no one. Every time I open up to someone (which is so so so hard to do) I get left on read and never spoken to again. I feel so alone and helpless and really don’t know what to do. I just want someone to love me and make me feel like I belong in this world, but no one understands me even takes the time to understand me.

Hey Anonymous999,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forum and thank you for sharing your story with us,

We're sorry to hear about your history with an eating disorder and how it prevented you from participating in a sport you loved. We can hear this was a really difficult time for you and that it still impacts you today. Do you feel there is anyone you can reach out to? a family member or friend? we understand it can be so hard to reach out when we aren't feeling our best but often people do want to help.

If you feel there isn't anyone around who you can trust, please reach out to the Beyond Blue Support Service.  We’re available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEDT on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our professional mental health counsellors at our Support Service will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area.

You might also like to get in touch with the Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under.

We hope to hear back from you.