I'm sorry you're still so upset.
You know, they say "the worst relationship is the one you can't let go". It might be worth you looking that up online.
Because I think what you are grieving is whatever was the part of this encounter that at the time made you feel happy and you are not thinking about all the time you spent feeling anxious and lonely and confused and hurt by this man.
Most of the past five months have been spent by you in anticipation of what amounted to only two weekends - and then only part of those weekends!
In reality you only had two meetings with him in nearly half a year. Yes I know he travelled but he made no effort to see you again before he left and has seen you only once since he returned.
Can you have a think about the time you spent anguishing over what you should text and when, wondering why he wasn't replying or wouldn't ever let you ring him, all the time you were left alone, all the time he had you waiting while he was away and only sent texts of a few words and a pic - which would have taken him all of about 30 seconds to do?
Don't you think you are worth more than this? Would you have treated him this way?
I'm sure he was charming when he did meet you but I think he just wanted to get you into bed with him. Sorry, but I'm being brutally honest here.
Clearly men can find you attractive and I'm sure you are happy, enjoyable company and lovely to be with! Can you use the knowledge that you are a person people find attractive and great company to give you the confidence to let go of this lousy relationship and find someone who will want to spend time with you? Someone who won't keep you dangling and anxious and unhappy and alone.
Move on now. You'll be lonely for a while only because I think your hope this man would be "the one" has kept you going. Spend time with friends and family and you'll get over this guy and find someone better.
You know you will be OK! You have support here and people who are trying to truly help you.
Big hugs girl!