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Forums / Relationship and family issues / Have you been GHOSTED and how did you deal with it

Topic: Have you been GHOSTED and how did you deal with it

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Elsam
    Elsam avatar
    124 posts
    27 September 2021

    I have a terrible heart sinking feeling I have been ghosted by a man that I really have feelings for.

    We have been in contact for 5 mths and we had a date 2 weekends ago!

    The date was perfect and we got along so well but since then he has been very distant.
    He did send me photos a week ago and then I told him I was so attracted to him.

    His response: Oh! Boy! Blushing

    So I responded you wanted to know what I was thinking! He never responded!

    I have messaged him Friday, Saturday and Sunday with no response even saying I would love to see him again.

    i want to call him out by ringing him tonight but scared I will really lose him for good if o call him

    What have you done in this situation?

    This whole ghosting thing is just cruel!!!!

  2. HappyHelper88
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    HappyHelper88 avatar
    67 posts
    27 September 2021 in reply to Elsam

    Hello Elsam Thankyou for your post and welcome

    This has happened to me in the past and it can be a really heartbreaking thing, especially when you thought everything was going well and you cant figure out what went wrong
    From my experience i have learned to try and not take it personally because there was nothing wrong with me however maybe i wasnt exactly what they wanted or exactly what they are looking for and its really sad to realise this
    Also good to remember that the right person will come along and you will never have to question anything because you will know they are keen by how they are acting and when this happens its such an amazing feeling

    im so sorry this has happenend to you, you are not alone

    All the best and I hope you find the support you are looking for. We are all here to help.
    If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, we’re on 1300 22 4636 or you can reach us on webchat here.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Megzt84
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Megzt84  avatar
    28 posts
    27 September 2021 in reply to Elsam

    Hi Elsam,

    Unfortunatly its just too easy for people to do this these days. People can just dissapear rather than be honest with how they’re feeling or if they don’t want to continue something.

    I have been in this situation before and as much as it can hurt it is for the best. You don’t want to be with someone who would do this, especially after talking for 5 months.

    As happyhelper88 said you cannot take it personally. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. You should also never have to chase anyone. I have learnt the hard way with this. Someone who really wants you and deserves you would never do this and you would know how they feel.

    After being in this situation before, I would take this a sign that this person is not right for you. The right person is still out there for you and you will look back and realise that this happened for a reason.

    Take care

  4. jaz28
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    jaz28 avatar
    109 posts
    27 September 2021 in reply to Elsam

    Hi Elsam,

    Ghosting sucks. It is so easy now with social media. It is cowardly.

    I know you really seem to like this person, and it hurts. That's okay. But if they truly are ghosting you - they don't deserve you anyway. Think to yourself - do you really want a person like that in your life, especially as a S/O? Yeah, I wouldn't either.

    Don't give up hope and don't dwell on this forever. The right person for you is out there ready to love you 100% for who you are and how you deserve to be loved and appreciated.

    Stay positive,

    Jaz.

  5. Mk2692
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Mk2692 avatar
    39 posts
    27 September 2021 in reply to Elsam

    Hi Elsam,

    I'm so sorry you went through that. It's not easy having feelings for someone and for it not to be reciprocated. Sometimes people ghost because it's easier than facing the person and explaining the truth, which could be either they are not interested in you or in a relationship in general. This really shows the type of person that he is, someone who is not able to take responsibility and would rather ignore you than have a mature conversation about where things are going. I don't think you should contact him anymore, if he was interested, he would've contacted you straight away. I know this might be hard to hear especially if you have developed feelings for this person. I think it would be best to forget about him, he doesn't seem like a genuine kind person and you deserve better. I know this is probably not what you would like to hear, but you deserve someone better and you will find someone better. Unfortunately, healing does take time, so be patient and take all the time you need. Hope this helps.

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