I have found myself in a very uncomfortable and mentally draining situation as of late. My current partner is wonderful, his family is wonderful, with the exception of his father. I have always been biased towards him based on how he has treated my partner for the entirety of his life, but I tend to see the good in people, so I have really been trying to form my own perception of my partners father.
I have been with my partner for 2 years now, and this is my partner for life. I really believe family is important in my life, and I think it’s important to interact with and include family in some aspects of my life. This includes my partners family as well.
However, I have come to understand (through my own perceptions) that my father in law is genuinely a mean spirited individual, and I’m not sure how I am going to cope with this in the long term.
I always thought that I would combine my family with my partners family one day, but I know this is never going to happen, and I guess I’ve accepted that. But what I can’t accept, is having him in my life, for the rest of my life, and having to put up with his horrible words and ideas.
He is extremely bigoted and racist, and all around really uneducated to be honest. It breaks my heart to hear someone speak like the way he does, in such a disrespectful and evil manner, and although it’s not directed at me, the energy he consistently gives me is so draining.
To make matters worse, he doesn’t like my partner (his son), and always causes issues between them. And yes, it could be easy to step away and not see him, but my partner lives in his home, and I genuinely love the rest of my partners family.
Oh, and don’t get me started on when my family has to meet theirs, I’m already terrified, especially since my family already doesn’t like his.
So I’m asking, how do I cope with all of this ? How do I cope with having to see him, and listen to his horrible words and stupidity, without it absolutely draining me? I am generally a person that likes to surround myself with love and light and it’s so hard being around such a strong presence like himself who radiates so much negativity.
I have to visit my partners house, it’s only fair, so I can’t avoid him too.
thanks so much guys ❤️