I've previously posted on Beyond Blue and found it to be helpful so am hoping that posting again might help me out somewhat.
I just turned 25 and am feeling really low about the fact I've never been in a long-term relationship. I'm the only one of my friends who this is true for.... I feel really hopeless about the situation, and I find it is these thoughts that contribute to my struggles with depression the most, as I feel like I will never be able to develop a relationship with anybody.
A large part of my worries stems from the fact that I have very little experience in the physical side of things... My first time was pretty terrible as it occurred without my consent, and since then I have found it extremely difficult to engage in physical intimacy with a guy. I finally got to a point where I did reach this point again with a guy, but I felt pressured into rushing things, and it was a really bad experience all round. After that experience I got dumped, and I felt absolutely humiliated as I was told that that was the main reason for ending things. I now know that that probably wasn't the world's greatest example of a healthy relationship, but I can't help but feel really hopeless about the situation.
I can see that I have many things to offer someone - I think I have a nice personality, I've always had great relationships with my friends, I'm reasonably intelligent.... I feel like objectively I'm not that bad, but I feel like with the lack of experience, and the fact that nobody has wanted to be in a relationship with me yet, that the idea of me ever being able to make a connection with someone like that is near impossible.
I don't know whether I should just resign myself to a fate of being a crazy old cat lady, or whether I should hang in there and just hope for the best. At the moment it just feels like I'm never going to have the experience of forming a relationship, and this makes me really really sad.
Thanks for reading, and if you have any thoughts/words of wisdom I would love to hear from you.
Thanks so much - Brooke x