Hello SESIAH, I'm sorry for the way you are feeling because there does come a time when somebody can't hide how they are feeling or even pretend to everybody that there is nothing wrong with you because any mental illness is way too strong to conceal and although you may not intend to 'dump' your problems on your kids, unfortunately, this can easily happen, unintendedly.
By posting a comment here on this site, you can then easily type in what's concerning you, then you can read different replies and respond to any comment made and anything that's said which you don't agree with, ignore it, but it may allow you to think about it, but certainly leave it alone if it's not what you're after, that's the benefit of these forums.
It might also allow you to read other comments in different sections of the forums.
We know it's not easy to decide when you can open up, but this way maybe able to convince you that this site is safe, all we want to do is help people who are struggling with what or perhaps still been suffering from.
Please don't be afraid and hope to hear back from you.