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Forums / Relationship and family issues / I have nobody to talk to

Topic: I have nobody to talk to

11 posts, 0 answered
  1. guest75
    guest75 avatar
    299 posts
    23 April 2014

    Everything in my life is abslutely falling apart

    My relationship with Katy is over (not to mention the one with Tara, the one that lasted 11.5 years and apparently meant nothing to her)

    Im about to be unemployed, my current role finishes next week.  I have had a few calls so far about stuff i have applied for but everything seems to be, they want to interview 2 people and you were 3rd...I've heard that now 3 times in the last few weeks, including just a minute ago

    Im currently living with my mother and sister since Tara is the house i worked my *** off to buy, and they are going overseas in 2 weeks and had organised a house sitter to stay there before they knew i would be coming back (when i was at Katys house), so now my only option is to stay with my dad for those 2 weeks...I havent even asked him yet coz i dont want to stay there, i feel uncomfortable there

    I was hoping I would have a new job lined up and not have to go there but that is looking less and less likely...I was hoping to have a new job lined up so i could get my own place and start trying to rebuild my life...I have the money sitting there saved but dont know where i will be working so not sure where to get a place at

    The only good thing in my life at the moment is seeing my kids..thats it

    And i have nobody to talk to...My mum doesnt understand depression or what im going thru...my psych gave her some stuff to read when i first started seeing her but she still doesnt get it...my sister is no better...Im only seeing my psych once a month now and saw her last week...The only person Ive ever felt comfortable talking to is Tara....Even katy didnt know what was going on with me coz i didnt tell her much....I just want someone to talk to who will understand, who will care

    Oh crap i better finish this up now coz im at work and i can feel im about to start crying

    Matty

  2. Neil_1
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    Neil_1 avatar
    4232 posts
    23 April 2014

    Hey Matty

     Times are a definitely tough for you right now – tough indeed.  It feels like everything has just turned against you and you’re kicking into a gale force breeze.  In footy, when faced with that kind of thing, what’s done?  It’s small, sharp, tiny passes – keeping them low to the ground and to target your player on your team.  Weird analogy, but hey we both love footy and just thought I’d pop that in to break up the pattern of the post a little.  But for now, you’ve gotta just focus on the small things and don’t look too far ahead, otherwise it’s gonna mess you up even more.

    Your current role finishes next week?  At the end, so do you still have all of next week to go?  From what I know about you, you seem to be highly employable as you give excellent indications that you really take pride in your work (despite having to deal with horrible external issues – all to do with your private life) and so, from this job, you will no doubt be given an excellent and highly recommended referee report to assist you with future jobs.  How wide are you looking with regard to another job/role/position?  I guess as the time draws nearer, are you beginning to extend your circle of jobs to apply for??

    You said that you’ve got money snookered away for a place for yourself – so I guess you can’t really stop working (you know, as the worst option) for a time otherwise, you’d be potentially eating into that balance of cash, yeah?

    Back a few months ago, you “were” at your dad’s weren’t you??  That was for a little while, yeah – but I think that was also around the time when you were zoning in on SWWNBN Part II – so potentially you weren’t spending as much time there as you might this time.  Matty, with regard to where you’re to live that really needs to be sorted out very soon – well, still two weeks to go, but as uncomfortable as it might be to be living back with your dad again, it’d have to be better than when you did move in with SWWNBN Part II (even despite the mum seemingly having the hots for you at one stage – again, just a slight diversion thrown in there to try and raise a smile out ma man!)  And if you didn’t get a smile, I kinda did, so I guess it was worth mentioning it after all.  :)

    It does kinda suck though with regard to the job placement/the location of where you might be laying down roots for your new digs.  Because if that was to happen, then that would be a tremendous opportunity for you to really get occupied by the move, the moving in, the creating of the place to be your own, etc etc … the whole box and dice – and when that does happen, that process will be of a massive benefit for you – to at least for a short while, forget all the issues that are challenging you right now and to smother yourself in stuff for YOU.  Occupy yourself with it 100%   At the moment it doesn’t seem like it’s going to be happening just yet, but believe me, it WILL happen Matty.

    Yes, you’ve got your awesome kids in your life – but hey hey, you’ve come here and posted – there’s a whole helluva lot of BIG support on here for you.  And while we can’t talk per se, we can sure write to you and make it like a conversation, so please please – absolutely be thinking of us here too – cause we’re here for you buddy.  100%.

    I do have to so though that I am disappointed in the way you say your psych is … if you’re feeling that about them, perhaps it’s time to find a new one???

    Cheers ma man,

    Neil

  3. Jo3
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Jo3 avatar
    2269 posts
    24 April 2014 in reply to guest75

    Hi Matty

    Just a quick message of support and to say that we are all thinking of you.  And you have friends on here that you can come and chat to.

    Feel like I've been pushed back to the bottom of the pit again, and it feels horrible. I'm sorry I don't mean to start talking about me, it's not right.

    Hope you have a nice day today.

    Take care

    Jo xx

  4. emiveritas
    emiveritas avatar
    13 posts
    24 April 2014 in reply to guest75

    Hey listen

    I'm not sure how one goes about it on sites like these but I'm pretty good at listening and keeping secrets. Feel free to talk to me if you need, you sound like you're knee-deep in there.

     

    Thinking of you and your kids too.

  5. Brokenandbruised
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Brokenandbruised avatar
    42 posts
    26 April 2014 in reply to guest75

    Hi Matty. I can really relate to a lot of what you're going through. I ended a long term relationship about 8 months ago. At the time I felt it was the right decision, as it was a long distance relationship and I was less emotionally invested in the relationship than he was. I've since learned that he already has a new gf and is living with her. Because I'm going through a severe depression right now, I'm starting to miss him, and wondering if I made the right decision. He now says he hates me when not long ago he was very much in love with me. I too am currently unemployed, due to my job contract ending in January. I'm way too depressed to even look right now. Because I'm vulnerable and have little self-confidence right now, every thing that happens seems like a huge issue. You do have your kids which I'm sure help you. Also I'm here if you ever want to talk. You can reply to me. It sounds like we are going through similar issues. I don't know if it's possible to have a private one-on-one chat, but anytime you just want someone to listen, I'm here. And I know I've talked a lot about myself, but I'm a good listener, I promise!

  6. karibear
    karibear avatar
    3 posts
    26 April 2014 in reply to guest75

    Hey Matty

    I think we've all been there, felt our whole world be broken into pieces. But my advice is that if you've got the pieces you can always rebuild.

    Your past relationships can be hard to get over I understand but would you want to be with someone who didn't want to be with you? 

    And from what I can see you're not struggling for money and your kids sound beautiful. Not everything is wrong. With the spare time you have waiting for your job meet some new people, collect yourself and start a fresh. So when your house and job is there you can spend it with people who appreciate you.

    But that is the shining light everything will happen. You just need some time and you'll get there. Continue to be strong and good luck :)

  7. Scott_Depression
    Scott_Depression avatar
    186 posts
    26 April 2014 in reply to guest75

    Hi Matty

    Sorry to hear the fairy tale didn't end as hoped with Katy - will try and find posts explaining what happened

    Really sounds like you're getting hit from all angles at the moment - almost time to take cover and prioritise which ones to tackle first.

    Even if the living options aren't great for you, seems like you'll at least have a roof over your head while you're sorting out stuff. 

    Ok - so now onto YOU.  Neil hits the nail on the head (always does!) when he says you need to look after YOU now.  I know I always bang on about this, but are you still on the meds & taking regularly?  Might be worth investigating whether to change psych's too - you could do with weekly appointments right now.

    Try and get the good vibes going mate - get out for a walk/run and try and get yourself laughing.  I suggest going onto YouTube and looking up Jim Jeffries for stand up - he's pretty 'blue' but really funny - should be able to crack a smile on your dial!!

    Take care - let us know how you're doing

    Kind regards

    Scott

  8. guest75
    guest75 avatar
    299 posts
    28 April 2014 in reply to Scott_Depression

    Hi Neil

    I like the footy analogy, as you said we both love our footy so helps to put it into that context...Youre right, i cant really afford to be not working long otherwise i will eat into that bit of savings of managed to put away.

    I never really stayed with my dad those few months ago, only for a few nghts here and there, as everything moved forward so fast with Katy i ended up at her house without ever really having to stay with my dad much...so it will be a struggle as i really dont like his wife

    Jo, emiveritas and brokenandbruised

    THanks for the offer of listening.  I know I have all the fantastic people on here i can vent too if needed, and you are all wonderful in your replies.  But sometimes I just want someone i can talk to face to face, someone that knows how im feeling and understands me

    karibear,

    I know its stupid still have feelings for her.  But because of the way everything happened (you can read my story in some of my old posts but she took an IVO out against me), i have never heard her tell me she doesnt love me, that she doesnt want to be with me...As when it all happened she sent a message back to me via my mum that she didnt want to do it, DHS made her do it until i got myself sorted out...so Ive never had any closure to our relationship and i think thats what i need to be able to move forward

    Hi Scott,

    GOod to hear from you again mate...Yeh the relationship with Katy wasnt the fairytale it appeared to be.  But at least i had some say in how it ended this time...I was feeling trapped so i fled back to my mums, she then told me she was thinking we needed time apart and was going to saying something but i left before she could and then it just sorted ended...Im not overly upset by it ending to be honest

    Laughter is something i try to do...Ive always been a fan of stand up (Demitri Martin is my favourite, along with Jim Gaffigan and Dane Cook) and also love sitcoms, have recently gotten into Mrs Browns Boys, so have started downloading them from the start to watch

    Thanks again everytone for taking the time to respond to me

  9. scorch
    scorch avatar
    182 posts
    28 April 2014 in reply to guest75

    Thinking of you Matty and hoping that things start to look up.

    *giant hugs*

  10. Scott_Depression
    Scott_Depression avatar
    186 posts
    29 April 2014 in reply to guest75

    Hey mate

    Hope you're holding up OK!

    YouTube is a treasure trove of comedy! Love it.  My faves at the moment are Jim Jeffries, Bill Maher, Daniel Tosh, Amy Schumer, and loads more.  Some of the comedy central roasts are good too, though so wrong!

    Stay on track with the meds!

    Looking forward to keep on hearing your story

    Cheers

    Scott

  11. Mares73
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Mares73 avatar
    748 posts
    3 May 2014 in reply to guest75
    Hi Matty it seems a while since you've posted & I was thinking of you this morning & wondering how your going? I'm guessing your contracts up by now so are you in the midst of applying for jobs? And what's your current living arrangements? Did you ever hear back from Katy or is that we'll & truly in the past? I often wonder how your going so it would be great to hear from you when you feel up to it. Lve Mares xx

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