Hi there,
I am seeking some advice on my situation.
My Mum has had increased anxiety issues since I was born (I am an only child), and has had depression since my parents separated. We lived in France but my father was from Australia. After my studies I decided to move to Australia for a year. This triggered a great crisis in my Mum's life, who despite having a partner at the time, could not handle having her daughter so far away. She had episodes of depression, and started drinking.
I returned to France after a year, but was then offered a permanent job in Australia and decided to go back. As soon as she heard the news, the drinking became worse, she threatened to commit suicide, and made me feel very guilty. She was working at the time; as soon as the weekend came, she would start harassing me over the phone, saying horrible things to me hoping I would change my decision. She started victimising herself, and would only consider her view of the situation. My family and friends told me I could not live for my mother and that I had to stick with my decision. So I left again for Australia. I soon met a partner there. After a couple of years of depression and alcoholism, with me worrying everyday of what my Mum would be capable of doing to herself, she hit the bottom and considered seeking help. After a few months of therapy and medication, she got over the alcoholism problem.
Our relationship went back to normal, we talked and messaged more often, she was happy and went back to catching up with friends/family and doing activities. Soon after though, her partner passed away. I went back to France for funerals but had to come back to Australia for my work. A few months later, she had a major depression again, not coping with loneliness, and stopped taking her anti-depressants properly. She was placed in an psychiatric institution, and after a few weeks of therapy and new medication finally came out of it.
This recovery episode didn't last for long. She then retired and recently had to place her Mum in a retirement home. Now, she is feeling more lonely than ever and cries every time we Skype, saying she isn't happy by herself, and that she cannot live without me.
I'm not a depressive person myself. Throughout the years, I listened, helped her seeking help, consulted her friends and family to help with various things. But since we have been through this for so many years now and I see no improvement, I just don't know what to do anymore. Any thoughts?