hi Deeser, what you have told us just reminds me so much that our marriage was no different than what is happening with you, so slowly this was another reason why I ended up having a breakdown, but there were many other reasons as well, but inch by inch it got too much for me, and that's why I only live by myself now.
By blaming you could mean that it dulls her sense of empathy towards you and allows her to act in a hurtful way to you, whether this is to stop your intimacy or establish a barrier between the both of you could be why, I'm sure this was why this happened with me.
I must apologise to other females reading this, so please take no harm, but it's a situation that seems to be happening here just as it did for me, so maybe I'll continue on about my marriage.
My ex was never able to accept the blame for anything, nor did she ever say sorry to me, because if she didn't blame me then she would admit that she is not in control.
Even after the divorce it still doesn't stop because at every opportunity it still goes on, I am to blame always.
I just want you to get help before it all caves in and not end up like my marriage has. Geoff.