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Topic: I need to vent

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Deeser
    Deeser avatar
    1 posts
    15 July 2016

    First time poster and new user here

    My girlfriend of 5yrs has had depression for awhile but decided to do something something about it the last couple of months she is on medication which dr has recently changed

    my day started badly this morning i woke and got out of bed at 3 this morning and stayed awake. My girlfriend got up at 7 to get her kids ready for school when she came out to the kitchen where I was sitting eating and reading I looked up and said morning sweetness! To which I got no reply she was in a bad mood so I just let it slide. She took her oldest son to the bus stop because we live out of town I normally leave after she comes back but bus was late and I had to go to work. There were a couple of texts messages between us with her asking what is my problem. I replied nothing is wrong. Normally we would text throughout the day but nothing until i asked what was happening tomorrow because I had the day off. I was accused of making plans without her and she just ended the texting. All I wanted was to do anything with her and I told her that but still I was accused of lying and planing stuff without her. When I got home I was walking in the gate she was outside putting stuff in the dryer and I said to her how you going sweetness to a reply I got f and c of a dryer and she walked inside. Nothing said so I said what have I done wrong. Her reply don't start trying to make an argument ain't you! Got plans hey for tomorrow! I said you don't understand I want to do something with you and only you. This goes on and on and at the moment I'm in bed watching TV by myself. When kids are around she is happy as larry when they aren't it quiet and I get one word answers. I've nearly had enough being her punching bag and the one who is always at fault. I've been at rock bottom with depression and anxiety I vowed never to return to that spot and have told her that. When theses things happen with is regularly I start feel anxious and angry and have to make myself stop saying things because I can never win!!

  2. Music_Freak
    Music_Freak avatar
    3268 posts
    15 July 2016 in reply to Deeser

    That sounds like a tricky situation to deal with, have you talked since? Maybe make a hot chocolate or something and have a chat when the kids are asleep.

    It sounds like you've both been on edge and just need to chill a bit

    Let us know how things go, sorry if this post is silly, but hopefully your posting here has helped clear your head a little, at least :)

  3. Wednesday
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Wednesday avatar
    1260 posts
    15 July 2016 in reply to Deeser

    Welcome Deeser,

    This is a great place to vent, so go for it.

    I am wondering how you are managing your own health? It is scary to feel like your getting drawn back into that black hole. There is obviously something going on with your girlfriend, that is not really clear but it's great that she has a GP to talk to, who may be helping her nut out what is happening with her depression etc. I'm a bit puzzled about the anger, when your depressed you tend to get sad and lethargic. Someone else on the forum may have a better understanding than me on this front.

    But what about you, getting up at 3 in the morning means that you are not probably not getting enough sleep and anxiety may be playing a part. it is really important that you look after your own health, have you thought about a chat to a GP or counsellor to help you mange the situation your in? Only a suggestion of course. Come back and vent anytime there are a lot of great people on the forum to hear you.

    Take good care of you. Hugs

  4. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16486 posts
    15 July 2016 in reply to Deeser
    hi Deeser, what you have told us just reminds me so much that our marriage was no different than what is happening with you, so slowly this was another reason why I ended up having a breakdown, but there were many other reasons as well, but inch by inch it got too much for me, and that's why I only live by myself now.
    By blaming you could mean that it dulls her sense of empathy towards you and allows her to act in a hurtful way to you, whether this is to stop your intimacy or establish a barrier between the both of you could be why, I'm sure this was why this happened with me.
    I must apologise to other females reading this, so please take no harm, but it's a situation that seems to be happening here just as it did for me, so maybe I'll continue on about my marriage.
    My ex was never able to accept the blame for anything, nor did she ever say sorry to me, because if she didn't blame me then she would admit that she is not in control.
    Even after the divorce it still doesn't stop because at every opportunity it still goes on, I am to blame always.
    I just want you to get help before it all caves in and not end up like my marriage has. Geoff.


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