Hello Akajackal, can we offer you a warm welcome and for posting a very difficult comment on your behalf and I want to agree with Paul and Tim in their warm welcome as well.
I'm also so very sorry for the loss of your parents and for the lack of support you are wanting at home from your wife, plus a brother who is an addict and certainly wouldn't be of any help in trying to support you through any of this and leaves you in a precarious position, so I hope we can be of some assistance.
Your two children must love you in every respect and adore the time they spend with you as they begin to develop into their own little human beings, with a different personality, mirrored from you, that's what parenthood is about, the love we have for them can give us the strength we need to get on with our life.
They know when you're not feeling well, they're astute, by the look on your face and their affection will always remain, that's the purpose in life to give you the strength you need and from this will develop another direction you decide to take and needs to begin with talking to someone who understands your circumstances and can find different ways for you to eventually expand.
As the children grow your own personality will begin to change, because there are different ways for you to gain the knowledge to be able to cope with how you need to feel better.
We are here for you and want to help, plus support you as best as we can, so when you're available, please get back to us so we can suggest different options to begin to feel better.