Hi there,
I am naturally a very flamboyant and comfortable person when it comes to dressing in a more quintessential and vibrant way. I feel like the clothes that I wear - vintage, vibrant and obscure suit my somewhat of a misfit personality.
However, more so recently I have discovered that sometimes I wear one of my favourite headpieces, very quirky and unique, that my boyfriend tells me I shouldn’t wear it and I should wear something darker with my more recently dyed brighter colour of hair.
Normally, I’m the type of person who does what I want to do and dresses the way I feel suits my body shape and compliments my personality. However, because he is my boyfriend I am genuinely concerned as to if he is actually trying to look out for me saying things like “oh the colours clash.” Or “i don’t really like that headpiece.”and he does suggest that I wear something a little darker. He says “all of the brightness distracts me from your pretty face.”
I read somewhere that early stages of emotional abuse is when someone starts to control your wardrobe and what you wear. And then makes you feel guilty for not ‘conforming to their standards’
I understand completely that your partner wants you to look your best but is he taking it too far? I have asked other people about my headpiece. Close by individuals whom I know would tell me if I was being a ‘fashion victim’ so to speak. And they all say that the colours don’t conflict with my hair and that I look still so bright and amazing.
nonetheless, I’m still going to wear what makes me comfortable because in the long run I don’t want to look back at myself twenty or even thirty years from now and regret really showing who I am. I’ve always been so care free, bright and a bit unique from the crowd and I will continue to be that way. After all, when we first started dating he knew exactly that I was someone who wasn’t your A typical type of girl.
I’m different and different is what I shall remain. But is he really trying to control me or is he trying to tell me politely that something else would work alongside my dyed hair?
looking for answers,
much appreciated.
PsychedelicFur.