Thanks very much for the thoughts , and l'm sorry things didn't work out for you two. But yeah being happy , for yourself , and for her , is a nice peace and it's nice to know you've found and allowed that. Of course l want happiness for her , no matter what , and especially peace , it's been a long time. And of course for myself too.

Can l ask why were you apart and for how long before your conclusion ?

But yeah, it's been looked at from every angle either of us could possible for us both and then some , we've had no choice. And within hmmm, your not kidding well actually more so from a feel within as lve said l will usually feel things and have all my life.This however, it's not clear. l know why but l can't change it and so for the first time l can't call on the one thing that's never let me down that's just swirling unfortunately.

ln all honesty though , it's pretty cut and dry. She has her situation and which we're atm still unsure of when it will be resolved nor of the outcome . lt's all about that and in simple terms, to wait , or not to wait , and for how long ? l need this in black and white mentally for myself unfortunately buttttt, working on it.

Hi jt . lt hasn't been very long for you man, time is your friend, your doing just fine. The house is ready huh , wow , nice my friend congratulations , exited ? 50 50 bc of the circumstances, l know, but hey, try for 70 30 eh.

Mine ahh, bit of a way to go l'm afraid, end of yr early next. So busy l haven't even had time to finish off some rather big jobs as yet, fences, paths, few other things. But they'll be on the move soon hopefully.

rx

Unfortunately , things aren't good for gf atm,and l think it's pretty clear time l made a decision about things.

Through no fault of your own no one will really be able to quite grasp where she's at except maybe em , bc unless you've been through something like all this and know all the details , well.

But mores been happening and she's just not doing well at all. There's just no way she can cope with anything us right now or the foreseeable for now. Things will likely get worse to come and she'll have all she can cope with and then some . That's not coming from her it's from me and her frame just lately now .

l can see now it's best l just stay out of the way and get on with life. Unfortunately l can't help and us even quietly in the background supporting is just not fair to burden her with any further atm bc it's not helping it's just leaving her riddled with guilts. On top of everything else and that's the last thing l want for her or that she needs right now.

l'm still thinking it through but almost resigned to the idea . Maybe in the future , don't know , but unfortunately l do know l won't be able to count on it any time soon now for sure.

rx

Hey RX

always good to see you 'on the air' posting 👍

I hope you have been doing okay...so...whats on for the weekend?

Paul

Hi Paul

Thanks for that , thought you'd try changing the subject eh, probably as gooda idea as any haha.

Not much my friend , been a pretty stressy wk though , how about you ? l'll probably work a few hrs Sat, exiting l know, and bum around home the rest.

rx

hey mate

no...not really..just saying hello... I havent read anything above my post to you...just been looking after my 91 year old mum at her house and trying to deal with my anti-vaxer sister who is the main carer ....ugh

I havent been on here anywhere as much as I used to RX....just been really tired....and then some

Might put on a good action/thriller tomorrow and crank up the dolby digital ✔

Paul

Haaa no worries at all mate.

But yeah it's very hard with elderly parents isn't it, hope your coping ok. l know what you mean l just can't be bothered with anything much either once the suns down lately.

A good movie sounds the go anyway, hard to top that.

rx

Heya rx,

Stopping by to say hi. I feel the best kind of love we can give someone, is the love where we can let go of someone because we wish the very best for them. It is bitter sweet, and it will certainly hurt to do so, but it is as you informed me before (which I'm very grateful of); It wouldn't hurt if the both of you weren't truly in love.

Jt

Hi jt , and thanks for dropping in and the support, always appreciated. Have you got a thread or ?

Anyway yeah , l just think it'd be best for her atm and it'll enable me psychologically to at least know where l'm at too and get on with things. lt doesn't have to be the end if her cases work out , so who knows later.

How are you doin ?

rx

Heya Rx, 

I'm doing good so far. Been looking at some home deco / smart home solution for my new place. Have all these ideas I want to put in, but when I look at my account, I laughed and said to myself "Don't go buying them all at once, one step at a time, savor it". But yeah, life goes on. Thank you for asking :)

Nah I don't have an active thread that I post on frequently. I only have one that I posted long ago to share my break up experience, that's about it. It's now in the forums somewhere for those who have encountered a similar experience to relate to. You doing alright buddy?

Jt

Man that is great news about your place , congrats eh , here's to the future. lt may well be me next yr too although l won't go into that one atm, too much to do as yet.

50 50 my friend thanks . Things are feeling very twilight zone'ish tbh. Been a very big few days here very busy but still , in the back of my mind l've still managed to be still hearing some words gf said last wk which was last we spoke. They were what actually pretty well made my mind up and the decision for me tbh. And so a little sad for sure.

l dunno , when she said them , it wasn't meant to effect me or said in that way , l don't think she'd even realized what they meant to me , but it was like at that minute something snapped in my mind and as if it was just time. Because of those words , it's only been a wk or so still , that's the longest we've ever not spoken actually but , it kind of feels final , at least for now anyway. And although we never actually talked about it, l think we both felt it , or she felt what l was thinking you would say and so she hasn't been in touch nor me, as if we both know. Pretty sad stuff and l hope she's ok , but it's best l just leave it alone for now.

rx

Hey rx,

Yeah I know that feeling when something 'snaps' and you just know what you need to do.

Doesn't make it easier for you but despite the sadness do you feel some weight has been lifted?

Hang in there my friend.

Big hugs

Cmf x

Hiya cm and thanks as always, your support means a lot to me and many others around here.

Yeah , you'd know that feeling. l don't really know how it feels tbh , apart from just sad. But when she said them it was as if there was just no point in me giving this any more for now .

Luckily l suppose , l have a lotta stuff going on and an important job at work that'll run another mth or so too , so a lot of distractions. lt feels weird and strange my phone not bipping with her messages though and l miss them.l do still think it's best for now though.

l hope your ok , big hugs.

rx

We have talked a bit over the wkend.

lt was nice , always is. Not about anything in particular , little bit her stuff little bit mine, without anything getting too heavy just kept it mostly light.

So nice to hear each other though , talk , we both miss the hell out of us and ea other , it's not that, of course we do.

rx

Lots on now next few mths. Big job on at work l'm about 1/2 through , spent 5wks looking for a car for my daughter and we've gotta do a rw on that now and get her sorted, l'm setting my own car up for camping so that l can go away a bit trying to finish that too. Got about a mths work on the house after the work job's finished, may sell house end of yr , still incert as waiting on a subdivision. Next door's doing that , it use to be part of my place though so selling is all waiting on her to finish that. My end is just some house jobs sooo, we see on that front.

My daughters been with me last 18mths too and that's really changed life , and things, and been so much stress and exras. Poor things had a run from hell the last 18mths herself. And covid stuff, my God, so hard on the kids. But she's finally decided on a new course but it's hands on so depending on Tafes opening up.She's gotten 4 different pt jobs ea one's closed down each time. Her anxiety is through the roof , especially covid stuff, poor bugger. They have all the kids scares shytless these days after drilling us 19mths with all this. So sad, so wrong , so surreal. To top it of she's had such a sad bad run with friends and bf's on going 2yrs now.

Anywayyy, such is life right now . That's why l really want my car's camping setup finished, it's gonna be so cool. Just hoping to get away on some wkends which we can do from up where l am , atm anyway, see what they do to us next though, wk by wk. Take the canoe of course, just get away a little . l don't even know lf l'd still enjoy it like l use to , but it's all in my head haha and seems like a good idea atm and as if it would help things too especially mentally.

Gf , hmmm. Sadly she's just in such a damn mess. We've talked a tiny bit last few wks, but l can't even support her . Or talk much, bc my life although a lot on for the next few mth ,mind you l did nothing first 7mths of the yr. This is just a few mths pay back l'm dealing with now but then all that's done. At least l have real life though and a home and real things going on.

Hers is just limbo, time, so sad, she's in a new place now, another one. She was stuck in a hotel no opening windows this last 2mths, lockdowns. Now her next place, along with all her stresses. Just sad. But there's not a thing l can do and she's just not up to anything even just touching base is hard for her lately. Especially with my life just life but hers what it is . l'll come back to things there.

rx

l know l've been going in circles but that's how l get to the bottom of a difficult situation if need be and it works for me.

Talked to my dear brother the other night love this guy, he's interstate. Strangely we never got along as kids we were so different, but now 50s we actually get along better than the others. Life goes around and you just never know do you, anything can happen anything can change.

He thinks l need to leave this thing with gf says l have no choice with no certainty at all for who knows how much longer, what else can l do. He's also worried about what frame she'll even be in if and when it is finally all over and would she even be up to picking us up again anyway and building a life together later. She's even admitted that herself poor thing.

He says life's not getting any longer and l need to get firm on this and start thinking of myself again. And things could always be picked up again later if she does get through this and life hasn't taken another turn by then but atm after all this time l need to think of myself. l know he's right, that's the problem.

l don't know if l could live again, or even be bothered trying in that department again.

rx

Sorry that was meant to be love again.

Butttt, it is true , l don't know if l even could , let alone meet somebody again that l would even fall in love with anyway, l'm pretty fussy and l don't get over something like this easily either.The other thing is, l've been handed two incredible women , gifts from the Gods , since my divorce, and neither has worked out , mostly my fault actually even this situation. lf l'd have let her stay earlier she still could've at that time transferred everything to Vic and we could've gone through it together and with our life together.There were reason yeah , but l should've worked them out.

Point is , given there's only one woman in millions that l'd ever feel this way about and yet l've been freakingly handed two at this stage in life , l really don't think even if l wanted to l'd get that lucky again now. It was unbelievable that l even did and in such ways , these times , given how fussy l am. lf you were a God or the Universe , you certainly wouldn't be throwing me yet another chance would you , after l passed these up.

rx

Did the cards on the wkend,

Again just money dominated though so love wise they aren't being much help atm. Immediate money matters will dominate long term love matters and l'm in the middle of present money matters and the business end of work for the yr right now so that's why money matters are showing.

They've also been pointing to more than just work wise though financially so l've been wondering what that's been about too. But then just last night the guy renting my cabin rang me up to ask if l want to sell it. He said he's happy to stay on and keep renting if l don't but if l did he's interested in buying so that's all def' enough money matters to cause them to dominate anything love right now.

Soooo, l'm thinking about a price for the cabin and l'm suppose to get back to him bc in many ways l would like to be rid of it. l've had it 15yrs and l just can't be bothered with it anymore. l wanna minimize right down so badly lately , l'm just craving simplicity and minimalist lately , l just need it so badly. Only thing is if l did sell it , l'd need to find some way of tying the money up good, talking big locks and no key , or l'd just blow it .l'm really bad at holding money that's why l had the property instead, even l have trouble finding a way to spend a property haha.

Ahwell , more brain mush for me. Man l just want it all gone and out of my head , my dream lately is to just wake up in the morning and to just not have to think anymore about anything.

rx

Heya RX,

Dropping by to say hello and read your updates. Looks like a lot has happened for ya. Curious to know, do you do your own tarot cards reading (assuming when you say cards, that's what you meant)? Or do you go to someone who does the cards reading for you?

Minimizing via selling the cabin sounds like a great way to downsize your possessions. Since having more in our possessions would just increase the amount of effort we need to put into managing them, having less becomes having more. Maybe a "just right" price for both you and your current tenant would be beneficial to both of you? Because 1) You finally get to let go of your 15 year old cabin that you no longer need. 2) Your tenant gets something that they've been wanting from you. Becomes a win win :).

Sorry to hear about what your daughter's going through, and you too as well. With the spiraling thoughts, it's hard to get out of them, but glad to read you're still posting in your thread. I do agree with your brother that, it's time to let go of your gf and focus on yourself first. It is also the best kind of love you can give someone whom you truly love, where you want what's best for them. It is hard to let go, but you'll be alright with or without her in your life.

Happy to listen to you more RX :).

Jt

Hey RX,

I know what you mean about not being ready or wanting to meet anyone else. I'd be the same. Gee, these cards are adamant aren't they? I can see why you are in limbo. You probably know what is best for your heart but then you have these messages...It;s def a tough one considering the feelings etc.

wish I had more clarity for you my friend.

Hugs

CMF x

Hi jt , thanks for dropping back and the thoughts , always appreciated.

Yeah it's a lot to think about with the cabin bc l will lose the rental income. lt doesn't cost me anything to hold the cabin it's paid off long ago so the rent is free and clear and part of my income you see. But just owning it is always in the back of my mind bc it's just one more big thing and a pretty big thing so even though it's rented out it's also been a lot of work over the yrs too. lt's more practical to keep it though tbh , bc l'd have that rental income forever more you see , but man , l would like to just be free of it too, l don't know how all these people that have heaps of properties cope, two is more than enough worry.

And thanks for the thoughts of my daughter , l'm so proud of her she's staying strong and has lots of plans.

But yeah, l know, he is right , it is probably time l think of myself in this after all this time. As far as setting her free, she doesn't wanna be free she still wants us, it's only coping atm that's the problem. So we mainly only talk lately when or if she calls or messages or needs support, there's zero us pressure. But l must admit , it is hard and l have been wondering if l'm actually doing myself any favors lately though.

Cards ahhh , l've done cards most of my life, only for myself. My daughter does do Tarot for other people though. How are you going anyway , did you say last time you got the house?That's big stuff my friend how's it all going are you happy with it and the decision?

Take care eh.

rx

Hiya cm and thanks as always.

Yeah , l just couldn't even imagine anyone else, really , l just can't. And l certainly couldn't be bothered with it that's for sure. lf there ever was it'd have to be pretty damn good l know that much and just fall in my lap too l'm afraid haha.

But yep the cards still seem to think so though, or they're talking about gf and maybe that all works out, l can't tell.

Haa no worries at all though cm and thanks for that, the support is more than enough and appreciate . Hope your ok.

Bug hugs.

rx

Heya RX,

Yeah, I hear stories about how people make money from buying properties, and then renting them out. But just managing all of them seems like a tough task, and almost like a full time job itself. I guess when seeing it as a full-time job, it's probably more viable to do so. But say if I'm working full-time, and need to manage rental properties too, I'd be super stressed out about it. Could get a property agent to help manage the rent for as well, but also a bit of management required in that. Ah well, I'm sure you'll be able to find the answers that best suits your situation.

It's really strong of you to still be supporting her and chatting with her. Definitely worth working out how you're feeling about this and whether you are doing yourself any favors indeed. It wouldn't be a bad idea to call out for space if you need it.

Oh yes, I certainly did get a house. I'm moving in tomorrow so I'm very excited about it. Though, I'll need to save up to buy furnitures. Have been browsing online MarketPlace and Gumtree for second hand furnitures a lot recently. Really looking forward to decking the place out over time, and enjoying the things around that area (gotta wait for lockdown to end first though heh heh). It's definitely a decision I'm happy about, as it's something I wanted for myself.

Take care too RX, hope to hear from you soon :)

Jt

Hi jt and all.

Your moving in tomorrow , wow eh , big congratulations mate fantastic. Just thinking about the awkwardness of trying to move if your in a harsh ld, what a pain but eh still gonna be exiting stuff for you man.

Yeah l know people that work full time and own a lot of investment properties too. Even agent managed though for me l'd hate it. There's still heaps of things coming back to you through complaining tenants and stuff breaking down . l really dunno how they do it . l have had mine with agents but l prefer doing it myself and making my own agreements with tenants . l also choose tenants that are happy to fix stuff too so that they don't bother me with it and if they have to spend anything l just knock it off rent.When l was single met a chick , she owned 5 investment properties.

Afraid l don't have to work much out about us still talking already know but it comes and goes. And as per through the thread the deciding whether to or not has been the tough part.

But very very sadly it is getting less and less just of late. Poor things just yet moved again too and that's really thrown and unsettled her yet again and even more so now, if that's even possible. But nah , me mostly leaving us talking at all up to her isn't some game either btw , it's just l've hoped it helps her cope better .

Buttttt, alas . Much sadness this last few wks though bc we're talking less and less especially since she's moved yet again , it's all just even more for her to deal with and so l've laid very very low giving her space to adjust and deal with things unless she needs me. And so the less and less .

Unfortunately it's very possible given the shape she's in we may just drift out of contact all together from here , l could easily let that happen and it is very sad for sure as it's sinking in just of late. Of course as far as from my point of view goes, l know it's probably what l need from here on and it's probably well over due too butttt, still , that doesn't make it any nicer.

rx

Just reading back and wondering how to say things l'd like out of my head , and of also just what has been the sense of it all and life this past 6yrs.

And so not only thanks to all but also to makin a change, bc there's a lot of sense and beautiful attitude in things he has said, so thanks again for that my friend.

l do want happiness for her , with or without us, l'd love happiness for her , and a peace , and an end to everything she's been through. And l'd love of course peace and happiness for myself too with or without us should it go that way.

lately so much of this last 6yrs has been flashing around for me. And as makin has said , l too should be soooooo grateful and thankful for the thing's and time's l've had during it all , if nothing else was to come of it , l could well at least just be so thankful for the incredible times l've been blessed with that many unfortunately would only dream of , through it all. l suppose that's one way to look at it all , even with things turning out in the way that they have. 6yrs ago l for one even myself could've only dreamed of ever having some of these times again.

Do things happen for the best , l wonder , l'd say some of it has , but then l'd also say it was a gift and that l blew it, unfortunately.

l suppose whatever is to come in the future from here , will tell all in just what was and wasn't meant to be and was it all for a reason and lead up to whatever might come from here. When we met , we'd' thought our whole lifes had happened in the way that they had , and her ending up on the other side of the world , for us to meet.

Butttt, doesn't look now as if that was the case , so the next obvious thought is was this 6yrs for some other future reason yet to be revealed. ? And of course no one can know that with anything in life until after the fact , so we see l suppose.

l do feel like though that l was handed on a platter more than l could've ever dreamed of at this stage though , and that maybe that was the future , and now it isn't.

Who knows.

rx

Well we've talked again and we've decided during the way things stand atm with her situation and frame, we'll cool the jets until if and when there is an out come , and perhaps see where we're both at then. l think this is about the third time in talking about it but it';s never eventuated however this time, l think it's all we can do best we make the effort this time.

But man she's amazing , just an incredible person, no wonder l've hung in there she just even at a time like this, never ceases to amaze. She's more concerned about me in all this and me looking after myself while we're apart as she's not here to look after us , than herself and her own situation. She explains over and over of how important it is and makes me promise black and blue that l'll take care eat right be safe and try to be happy, it just boggles the mind. Even with where she's at she worries 10 fold more about her son and me than she does herself.

Things feel very strange , life , where to , what will be , l don't know.

rx

Hi Rx

GF made you promise some really good things. Look after yourself. Take care. Try to be happy.

Clearly she loves you very much.

I guess this means you're both pretty much hanging in there but with low contact?
Until a resolution happens for her...

I did respond to your thread this week but my post was vetoed - oops. Sorry bout that.

It's an absolutely perfect day here.

What do you have planned for today?

EMxxxx

Hiya em , and thanks for that.

Yeah l lose a few too , usually the ones that have given me major brain strain haha , and after all that effort , poof.

She does yep , absolutely . Tbh though ,we don't know what it will mean. Maybe it goes on for yrs and in the end someone else comes along , or maybe she gets through it all and we get to pick up where we left off, just no way to know. l do know though that she needs to soldier on for as long as it takes and there just isn't room for us in there right now. So l need to go on with life l suppose, or l quietly go about my business and just wait it out, no idea tbh but the answers will come.

Nothing too exiting haha , just working today , all done now and resting up tomorrow. lf it's a nice day l might go somewhere get out or canoeing , beach, we see. How about you , out in the yards tomorrow l'd be guessing , sunshine the girls and lovely gardens.

Enjoy eh whatever it may be.

Big hug.

rx

Hey rx, hugs right back at ya buddy!

I hope you DO get out and go canoeing or just get a different view of the scenery for a while.

Nup I've been laid up since RE injuring my back pretty badly on Friday - yeah in the garden lol.
So badly that it was causing breathlessness, ouch.
Even the kids are feeding the pets, can't crouch down yet.
Chiro this week I HOPE he can fit an appt in... 3 vertebrae have now popped out lol, I'm a wreck!

And our sweet lock down continues. Hmmm.

BUT I'm working and have an income so I have hope that things will improve.

Re: GF and the sitch.
Feels like a continued limbo again.
I'm really sad for you for that.

When things open up in NSW again, could you travel up and get a motel for a few days with her?

IDK I'm the ever hopeful relationship friend lol. I want you to keep hope alive, because you're so hopeful.

My sweet, faithful gf from school just got pretty much catfished by an old friend of hers (not mine, I don't know him). WOW it knocked her for a 66.
Her 40y marriage ended a couple of years ago.
Then she connected with this guy she knew all this time.
His marriage had ended 9y ago.
When she FINALLY got to see him after 6 months of communicating for hours every day, they had the most wonderful week.

Then he went back to his ex wife. 😮
WHAT?

It's a mess. He's now NC with my friend and she's devastated.

Man have things changed in that ole dating world out there. Morphed maybe, maybe nothing's really changed lol.

Anyway off to see if I can drive the kids to work! Wish me luck and send me healing back thoughts lol.

My body is letting me down atm but it hasn't controlled my MIND.
I can still dream of things I'd like to do, plans I have, adventures to enjoy.
I'm determined to squeeze every moment of happiness I can out of this life and do THAT I will!

Love EMxxxx

Hiya em and thanks as always.

Nah no more limbo we've decided , life's gotta go on and l;m not in hope and l don't want her to be either.. Anything future is just in a maybe later what if basket from here. lt could be different if she had the mental room right now to ride it out together but the poor thing doesn't and it's probably best for both of us anyway. l mean she could come out of things all fixed and quite wealthy, orrrrr be told to leave the country nothing would surprise with Australian imma sooooo, it's gonna hurt a lot less by then if it's not good news so there's that too. And it could be yrs with all the Covid hold ups so there's that too, l feel this way is best.

Sorry to hear about your friend. l'm in a forum it's a world wide thing but mostly US based l think . But my God , l can't even advise any of the women with their dating woes, either they just have the worst pickers l've ever heard of or it's the men or culture out there in the world these days, bit of all l think but it's just a mess. And the men are all on there going through just as much bs with women , so these days it's just hands in air, shakes head, for me. l'm actually opting out of that forum it's just too another world for me.

Me personally though, l'm extremely picky and if l do say so myself have very good tastes in soulful one off women so it's moreso a circumstantial out of our control situation. What next , who knows uh, finish my house and sell first of all l think.

Sorry about the back too , backs can be so damn painful. l had trouble in my 30s and l've used care and exercises since bc l don't wanna go there again let me tell ya so all has been well thank the Gods since.

Dreams are good haha , nothing wrong with those babies and looking forward to the day is there eh.

Take care

rx

Beautiful Sunday.

Worked pretty damn hard this wk and really needed an out . Went over to the beach and lake , walked , sat , wandered , sunshine and lots of beautiful water, people wandering about , just what the doctor ordered.

Back to reality tomorrow .

rx