Thats a really nice message and makes me feel much better about the whole thing.
Trying to stay focused and in control is incredibly difficult when break ups like that happen. I remember one breakup took me two years to get over the pain and suffering, that dark hole.
This one I admit hasn't been so tough but it certainly knocks the confidence out of you when it takes so long to build it up. Her reason was that it wasn't me, it was her. She doesn't love anyone and felt that i wanted a family one day and she wouldn't ever give me that. She also said she was a workaholic and would one day maybe find someone she loves or a cat lady.
It really didn't matter what she said, it hurt all the same. The funny thing was, it was very clear she was having a lovely time with me and happy. My response was, i respect her decision and thank you for being up front and honest. I said it must of been difficult to bring this up so all the best in what your looking for.
What I really wanted to say is you broke my f(*#n heart but nothing would be achieved by that or asking her to rethink. I don't think its right to beg for a relationship to work - not something I'm prepared to do for anyone unless they are the mother of my children.
I still have my moments when I get so down and think their is something wrong with me and your right, I probably won't tell the next person from this experience but that also makes me feel fake. I guess I'll cross that bridge when i get to it. You hope that you can show them all of you.
I just don't get it when at 33 i've travelled the world, own my own house, always treat people right, willing to commit to always end up sleeping alone. It's like the depression likes to use this card to get me down which is why I guess I'm sharing it here.
I'll keep up my fitness, I've also organised to talk to a professional to help release a bit of stress and maybe one day, ill get the answers I'm looking for.
Thanks again Neil1 for the time you've taken to write on this message board.