Gidday nib and thanks for writing a heartfelt post.
It seems pretty clear that if your 'friend' doesn't make you feel happy and uplifted, that she is not really a friend at all.
They say 'Laughter is the best medicine' and I think that's right. I spent many years holding on to similar relationships and often felt quite jealous of others who I saw them with having fun, or when noticing large groups of friends at a restaurant having fun.
So I took some advice, thought long and hard about what things I enjoyed doing (could be anything from swimming, walking, book club, playing cards, bike riding etc etc). Then I googled groups that do these things and joined them. Now I belong to four different groups and get the social interaction I longed for for so long!
Locally there is a group called MeetUp which organised heaps of different things.
The secret? I found is to be positive, reliable, and most of all take an interest in others in the group. Ask about their families, hobbies, what they do as well as the group's activities etc. Try not to barge in at the first opportunity to talk about yourself like I used to! Also, try and get to know lots of group members and not just stick with a few as most humans have interesting things to discover about them. A guy I met recently was a bit of an introvert, but after chatting on a long bushwalk one day, I discovered he has climbed Mt Everest without oxygen! Wow was that impressive!
You know what? Before long others in the groups will start saying to each other 'You know that new person Nib? She's very nice and friendly - lets see if she want to come to the group dinner at the cafe next week'.
Yep, that's exactly how it works. The hardest part is to get started - reaching out and joining the group to start off with. If you tell the group organiser that you will turn up on the day, make and effort to do so even if you may not feel like it on that day. Chances are it will be fun and you will feel much better for making the effort.
I hope this helps, like it did with me!
Very happy to chat more on the forum if you'd like to, to hear if you have taken the above first step!
Bye for now, The Bro