When I came to Australia then, my plan was to work a couple-three years, build up my experience and then move back home. I never thought I would meet her. And never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that love would hit me like an anvil, but it did. Exactly a week after I had met her we had our first date. And on that date we became engaged; and married a few short months later. And now, just shy of our silver anniversary she tells me she's out grown me; she tells me it's over.
Over the years, I was expected to be friends with the men her friends married, but not vice-versa. So my friends are a few work colleagues, but nothing outside of work. No one that I would feel comfortable with in taking any of this stuff to. They have their own lives and families, they don't need to be burdened with my issues. All of the local family, is her family. My family lives overseas. My
father died not really knowing my children, he saw them maybe 3 times when they were pre-school aged. I wasn't allowed to take the kids overseas during northern holidays; when the kids would have an opportunity to get to know my sibling's kids. Holidays like Christmas were for her family.
I gave up everything when I fell in love with her. My family, my country, and a lifetime of memories with my parents and siblings, everything. What happened to what was meant to be? What happened to growing old and sharing retirement together? What happened to the future big multi-family with lots of grandchildren gatherings at Christmastime?
I can't mention the marriage breakdown to anyone without starting to become emotional and teary. When I suggested we get help, she said I can if I need it, but she doesn't need any. She's done, there is no "us", it's over. I don't know what I am supposed to do. I don't know how to restart. I don't know, I mean, I just don't. Look I'm 50. I'm not fit; my health sucks. I can't be restarting now. I'm too old. My
life is over. It's my kids turn to build a life; I had my chance and let's face it, somewhere along the way, I blew it.