I’m so pleased Geoff has come to you and given you some great responses back. Especially at this time when you really do need support. As you can see by the amount of posts he’s got next to his name, Geoff is, no probably not our oldest member but would definitely be our wisest. He’s been through an incredible amount throughout his life and his advice is always sought after by even us on here who post regularly.
But Shanny, you have absolutely no reason to feel bad in this situation and definitely should not be feeling guilty or to blame - how can you be when you've done nothing wrong.
Reading between the lines, it seems you had to move out of your family home – as you said you are now staying with your sister. As Geoff mentioned, what is the situation with the family home (I assume he’s staying there) – is it mortgaged, etc?
And also another good thing that Geoff mentioned is the need to obtain a solicitor in order to deal with these kinds of issues.
You sound like a remarkable lady Shanny – firstly having put up with so much by this man for what seems to be a fair while and then to go through the separation and yet at the end of all this, you still can say that you have forgiven him. You’re a much MUCH better person than I’d be in the same situation – obviously roles reversed of course.
I know this must be incredibly hard for you as it’s all so recent and so raw – but really, I could not see the value one bit in having this man around for your children. He possibly has already instilled a little of his ‘devious ways’ into their souls with his comings and goings and the like. I would be interested to hear from you about what your boys think of all this – especially the 13 and 12yo’s – as they should have their own thoughts on this. I’m really now referring to where you said that if you stop chasing up with him, he may well forget the kids – is that coming solely from you or do you know that your boys will miss him being around??