First time posting on BeyondBlue - this is the only place I feel I may voice my concerns.
I am 25 yrs old, and my mother is nearing 50. We are of Cambodian-Chinese & Vietnamese background.
She is a very traditional Asian mother. I am the only child, and what's more - I am a girl.
My parents have kept a tight leash on me up until adulthood, and we had a turbulent relationship because of it.
She's had me to fuss over for almost half her life. I left home nearly 2 years ago, and although she took it badly, she learnt to accept it.
My mother & my father have had some relationship issues in the past - which my mother never seemed to forget nor forgive.
As if her mistrust in people was not at a high already, this episode in her life has lead her to become even more mistrusting of EVERYONE.
She has no friends.
My father & I have talked about it - she needs friends. She has none because all she can do is:
- find, pick & talk about everybody's flaws/negatives
- always wants to be 'above' or 'better' than all the other mums/women she meets
- thinks that all the other mums/women are talking about her behind her back
- or have some 'evil scheme' or agenda when they do try to make friends with her
- thinks the whole world is full of evils, and bad things will happen if you do ANYTHING and/or EVERYTHING
- stays inside the toxic circle of her sisters (my aunts whom have similar traits to my mother)
She does not get along with my father's side of the family, because she think his sisters are always plotting against her, or "stepping on her".
I don't know what to do, how to help or if I even should help. I've been told that I should live my life, and if it is her decision not to make friends then it is what it is. But I worry... My father worries...
My father tells me that most days, all she does is play with the dog... My heart sank into the deepest depths of my stomach & I cringed because I've seen it too. My father has his own friends, but it's hard to take her along to outings because she just wont make friends (and dislikes other women for irrational reasons).
It makes me really sad. I just want my mother to be happy. Although she says she is, I know she's not. I think she's terribly lonely & needs some girlfriends.
Any advice would be kind, thank you.