dear NurseLindsey, I'm sorry I had written a reply but hadn't finished but I did something so I lost it.
To me you're struggling and jumping up and down on the same spot and not getting anywhere, which seems as though there is something going on that either you don't like or something that you could be annoyed about, but you're not enjoying life at the moment.
There are many conclusions that could be made from what you have said, and we can only surmise on what you have told us, but that's OK because the person posting has to get the trust from the people he/she is talking to, but what seems to be a huge problem is that the marriage could be falling apart, and please excuse me if I am wrong.
What really concerns me is that you're not feeling any joy at the moment, or perhaps any support that you do need, so you feel left alone, and for this to happen is never good especially when you are feeling alone.
There are so many presumptions I could make from your post but it would be great to hear back from you. L Geoff. x