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Topic: Newbie

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Tuppeny
    Tuppeny avatar
    1 posts
    19 September 2015

    Hi, My husband has mild cognitive impairment which is getting worse so the dreaded dementia is looming.

    Most days I am okay but there are some where I feel really sad also angry and frustrated. He served in Vietnam and was a heavy drinker for years after and life has been hard but I kept our family together. He stopped drinking some years ago and just when life was starting to feel good his memory began to fail him. My two children are grown up now and have families of their own. I feel sad, angry and frustrated some days as I feel that I have been robbed of any sort of happy life. Were it not for my children and their partners I would have cashed it in long ago. 

    Most days I feel strong and say to myself that I am a survivor but there's always that odd day when sadness overcomes me and I wish things were different. 

    No way would  I end my life and leave my beautiful children to have to deal with their father. They have suffered enough from his abusive drunken behaviour.

    So why didn't I leave him years ago I hear you say.  Because I have always thought that Service in Vietnam created this problem not him


  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9780 posts
    20 September 2015 in reply to Tuppeny

    Hi Tuppeny

    Re: "No way would  I end my life and leave my beautiful children to have to deal with their father. They have suffered enough from his abusive drunken behaviour."  Thankyou

    That comment brought back memories of 1996 when I went to a place I will never go again. We should all remember the hurt we could leave behind us by our loved ones and of course children.

    What you have done is devote yourself to your man that has issues that were caused by the war. That is honourable and you can walk tall.

    Have you contacted the RSL or Government departments to seek help/respite etc? You likely have. What I think you need is time out. Dare I say that he will get to a level whereby he wont be able to take care of himself. I'd suggest then he be placed in a facility where he can get the best of care. You could have some days with him. But we are talking here about measures that can help YOU. Because although we can all identify with your husbands issues you need help also. you cant continue to ignore your own health.

    So start with a GP check up and let loose on your problems and struggles. Seek out all the assistance you can find to open the release valve a little in your life.

    And- well done for hanging in there.

    Here is a poem for you and your husband.


      White soldier in every town

    Wears a slouch hat to hide the frown

    Statue a reminder of where he’d been

    Greatest carnage the world had seen  

    In a trench with a mate

    About to charge then hesitate

    Bullets fly above their heads

    Living then but as good as dead

    Share a fag make a joke

    Fellow digger-bloody good bloke

    Bullets zing all around

    So much mud there be no ground

    Immortal statue at every town

    Tribute to those diggers fallen down

    Could have been me- maybe you

    Lest we forget ‘soldier blue’  

    Hat on reverse teenage joy

    Same age then- only a boy

    Jumper’s word – USA

    Ignores statue with plenty to say  

    If concrete face could erase the frown

    Of white statue in every town

    He’d halt the boys without Aussie pride

    Teach them not to copy Yankee stride

    “All my mates fought for this great land

    Do you boy ever understand?”

    I stand here in concrete uniform

    To remind you lad- of before you were born  

    I love you young man for you are me

    But I didn’t make it to twenty three

    Be proud to be Aussie no regret

    Please young aussie- lest you forget…      

    Tony WK


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