Hi craft, welcome
Its a fine line
Firstly, they won't stop arguing. Perhaps they should learn to keep their voices down.
Now, short, direct simple questions. Eg
"Ask yourself what you said that upset your husband" or
"There is a reason couple attend marriage counselling isn't there"?
Once you answer her with a question then you are not having an opinion, you are not getting involved as such. Then you follow it up with...a totally different statement and question...eg
" ask yourself what you did that upset your husband" daughter replies eg "I didn't do anything" you say "I dug up my vegie garden today and planted some corn..do you want some when they are ready for picking"?
She will feel compelled to answer your corn question.
This might frustrate her and insist you listen to her. So you listen, then repeat the above, short simple question then statement and unrelated question.
Practice makes perfect.