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Forums / Relationship and family issues / Relationship breaking down

Topic: Relationship breaking down

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. CBear12345
    CBear12345 avatar
    1 posts
    9 May 2021

    I have been with my husband for 13 years, married for 9.

    We are having big issues in our relationship and he wants to separate.

    I have done things in the past I have lied and my jealousy gets in the way a lot. I handle those situations very badly, I have apologised for these things but still brings them up every argument we have. He can’t get past it.

    But everything that is wrong in our relationship is my fault, he thinks I’m manipulative and a narcissist.

    He wants space so he has asked me to leave our family home but being in a remote town there is v limited options for other accommodation so resorting to having to live in a caravan.

    I feel so lost, stuck and alone I have no family support or many friends where we are. I’m not able to leave as he won’t let me take the kids away, on the same token I don’t want to take them away from their Dad.

    We can’t have a proper talk without it blowing up.

    I want to make this relationship work but he thinks this is not going to work as I keep doing the same stuff over and over. He has said he’s done and it’s over. I don’t know what to do.

    I am speaking to a counsellor to change the way I handle things that come up but he keeps saying it’s all to late.

    Any advice would be great.

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9214 posts
    9 May 2021 in reply to CBear12345

    Hi, welcome

    Two possibilities - it is over and he means what he says- it isn't over just yet but he doesn't know that.

    Counseling is your best road.

    I don't have anything else to add except a thread I recommend you both read and commit to-

    Google

    Beyondblue topic relationship strife-the peace pipe

    Repost anytime

    TonyWK

  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15301 posts
    10 May 2021 in reply to CBear12345

    Hello CBear, and thanks for posting your comment.

    I'm sorry for how your situation is with your husband and whether jealousy is or isn't justified depends on what occasion it happens, whether it's continually repeated on the same issue or it's something similar that may not be able to be rectified unless a counsellor can sort it out as you say there have been 'big issues in your relationship'.

    Can I ask how your kids are feeling and any ideas of what they want to happen.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

  4. Fiatlux
    Fiatlux avatar
    20 posts
    12 May 2021 in reply to CBear12345

    Hi CBear12345,

    Firstly, I hope you are ok, since your post date.

    You are brave to reach out for counselling.

    You mentioned that your husband thinks you are narcissistic and manipulative. As a person who was married to a narcissistic and manipulative person, I know what it’s like to be at the other end of one.

    Please mention this to your counselling service. Narcissistic Personality Disorder really takes an expect to diagnose. In my experience, I haven’t met a narcissist who was ever willing to admit that they are one.

    I was subjected to narcissistic abuse by my ex husband, but he would never admit this and was never sincerely sorry for hurting anyone.

    Good luck and take care of yourself and your children.

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