My partner and I have been together for 6 yrs.
4 out of the 5 yrs my partner has worked shift work on a rotating roster, and I have been at my same job 9-5 Monday to Friday for 5 years.
A long with shift work, we both have anxiety, I have a disability which impacts my central nervous system so walking really hurts, And I manage this by pacing my self and setting achievable goals to live as much of a normal life as I can.
I also volunteer and run my own business on a casual basis, I go to councelling and am trying to loose weight to help alleviate some pain in my joints.
I run the budgets, take care of 2 dogs, do a majority of the house work while working from home full time in a job that I am under paid for, and am dealing with the union do fight for better pay.
He doesn't clean his room, doesn't do anything around the house on his own accord, constantly asks me to look for things even though they are always in the same spot (under the sink).
He doesn't organise dates or things to do when we do have time off together, it's all on me.
He doesn't sleep in the same bed as me and keeps his room so gross I don't want to go in there.
Our fights are getting more frequent, always about the same issues:
Me following up on him going back to councelling, setting up a bank account so he can help with finances, basic chores, sex or lack thereof, all so I can work around him within my own schedule.
Then he switches it around everytime like I am asking for to much from him and I'm talking down to him ( which is true but it's been 4 years of this) he's called me abusive and said "for someone who helps young people get into a passionate career you have no empathy for others mental health" which hurt a lot.
But lately he's doing less to work towards our relationship, and dropping hints that he won't be looking for new work, because he is scared about change.
I've told him that I will be there to support with education and the change, I spent my bonus on getting us more financially secure so we can look into him studying.
But it's too the point where I think I need to figure out how to leave, and keep the house I saved for and we own.
I can't keep doing this, keeping on top of my stuff and picking up the slack in every avenue of our life together.
I'm so tired, and I now can't speak about these things with out getting emotional or frustrated
I don't know what to do any more.