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Topic: Still Painful

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Tough it out
    Tough it out avatar
    1 posts
    20 August 2015

    So almost a year and half ago the relationship with my girlfriend of 6 years ended. She visited me where I lived in the middle of woop woop and I think that's what put her off.  By the end we were doing long distance with her in the UK where I'm from originally. Long story short, she broke up with me via text message,2 days after I'd bought tickets to fly back to the UK and propose to her. So yes, I was gutted. Beyond gutted.

    Luckily I had a friend who had been through a bad divorce who was able to help me through the worst of it,stopping me doing silly things.

    Eventually I was allowed to move back to civilization, taking on the FIFO lifestyle. Things have improved, but not as much as I'd hoped it would. 

    I feel stupid to have let a girl make me feel this was. It has seriously affected me as a person. I'm no longer confident, quite the opposite. I've begun to despise my appearance finding faults everywhere, with a feeling that people are judging me constantly. It's stressing me out, and worst of all I just feel old.

    I Tell myself that things will get better with time, but how much longer do I have to wait? 

  2. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
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    Doolhof avatar
    8854 posts
    20 August 2015 in reply to Tough it out

    Hi Tough it out,

    Thanks for sharing your story with us and Welcome to the community here at Beyond Blue.

    I'm really sorry you had to go through such a terrible situation. It must have broken your heart considering you were on your way to the UK to propose to her.

    Unfortunately life can throw some muck at us, the thing is to get up, dust ourselves off and move on. I know that is not always easy to do!

    I was recently hospitalised because I thought that suicide was my best option for beating my blues! I know that is not true, but at times it certainly feels that way.

    So how do I keep going? I try to think of something nice I can do each day to make my day more enjoyable. Even when I don't feel like doing something, I try to push myself to do it anyway. Quite often I then surprise myself and find out I am actually enjoying the outing/visit/movie or what ever.

    At the end of each day I try to think of things to be thankful for. I try not to dwell on the negative thoughts. I acknowledge them, accept they are there then try to turn them into something more positive.

    Try and think of something that you do like about yourself and congratulate your self for that feature or attribute.

    I'm not sure how things work as a FIFO worker, but are there opportunities at the end of a working day to catch up with others around you? Even just having a brief chat with someone might help make the day feel better.

    Do you have some hobbies or interests you could regenerate and get involved in again?

    When you are at home, could you invite some mates over?

    Are people really judging you or are you judging yourself? I know I am guilty of the latter and realise that I put myself down, therefore limiting my capacity to achieve much of anything.

    Today is the first day of the rest of your life! Hold your head up high, step out into the new day and make the most of it. That is what I am going to try to do today!

    Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

     

     

     

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